📌 The Silent Destruction of Men in Southeast Nigeria: A Cartel Nobody Wants to Discuss 1. All my life, I have defended women and children. My timeline speaks for itself. That position has not changed. 2. But I grew up in Southeast Nigeria. 3. I spent over 25 years between Enugu, Anambra and Imo States. 4. And I believe there is a deeply entrenched system gradually destroying the lives of men. 5. I call it a cartel involving certain churches, marriage expectations and a culture that places almost every financial responsibility on the man. 6. Let me explain. 7. A young man wants to marry. 8. Suddenly, he must finance three weddings. 9. Traditional marriage. White wedding. Registry marriage. 10. His prospective wife may contribute little or nothing. 11. By the time the celebrations end, he is financially ruined. Some spend another three or four years repaying wedding loans. 12. Then comes pregnancy, childbirth, omugwo and more expenses. 13. Every Sunday, the family must appear prosperous in church. 14. Offerings. 15. Thanksgiving. 16. Contributions. 17. Ceremonies. 18. Even when they are struggling, they must impress the congregation. 19. The church collects. The family struggles. The man pays. 20. Then come four or five children, sometimes without proper financial planning. 21. His parents need money. 22. His siblings need school fees. 23. His wife's family needs assistance. 24. Somebody needs hospital bills paid. 25. Everybody remembers him when there is a bill. 26. But who asks whether this man is happy? 27. Who asks whether he sleeps well? 28. Whether he enjoys his marriage? 29. Whether he has ever taken a holiday? 30. In some marriages, even romance disappears. 31. Some women stop making an effort towards their appearance or maintaining intimacy. 32. Their hair is neglected, covered with wigs when going out. 33. At home, they just tie wrappers and have little to no interest in romance. 34. Marriage becomes an entitlement rather than a partnership. 35. And when some men begin drinking excessively or seeking excitement outside, we condemn their behaviour without examining what might be happening inside their homes. 36. I do not excuse infidelity. 37. But for some men, alcohol and womanising may be maladaptive coping mechanisms for chronic stress and emotional dissatisfaction. 38. Home is no longer home. 39. Home is another place where bills are waiting. 40. The man works. He pays. He worries. He sleeps poorly. He drinks. He neglects his health. 41. Over time, some develop hypertension, diabetes, strokes and other complications. 42. And most times, before 60, the man is dead. 43. The church organises his burial. Bills the family more. 44. The family mourns. He is gone. Never to see the sunrise again 45. Everybody remembers how hardworking and generous he was. 46. But did anybody care whether he was happy while he lived? 47. Did anybody notice that he was exhausted? 48. I am not suggesting every Igbo woman behaves this way. 49. Many are hardworking, financially responsible and deeply supportive of their husbands. 50. Nor am I suggesting that men are always innocent. 51. But I believe this pattern deserves serious examination. 52. A man should not have to finance everybody's happiness at the expense of his own health, peace and life. 53. Marriage should be a partnership, not a financial prison. 54. A man is a human being, not an ATM. 55. He deserves affection, rest, companionship and a life beyond paying bills. 55. And any religious or cultural system that celebrates his sacrifices while ignoring his suffering deserves scrutiny. 56. have lived in the Southeast long enough to recognise this pattern. 57. I welcome anyone who disagrees to challenge my observations. 58. Because we cannot continue celebrating men at their funerals while ignoring their suffering when they are alive.

If you were born in the South East and want to die young, subscribe to this starter pack: 1. Spot an unemployed lady from a poor family. 2. Confirm she just wants a provision shop. No ambition beyond that. 3. Marry her bcoz she carry ihuka, azuka, she sabi do, she sabi cook. 4. Mistake entitlement from her & family for love and financial dependence for loyalty. 5. Surrender your marriage to her pastor & parents and let the church run your home. 6. Have another child every 1-2 years, whether you can afford it or not. 7. Carry every financial burden in silence whilepretending all is well. Nwanne m, by 50, you will look 80. Makachi by 60, you don go!

First knocking Second knocking List collecting Traditional marriage Ogo ma malu be White wedding Reception Registry marriage Imagine doing all these to marry a person who doesn't work.