Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado) header
Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado) profile picture

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it." ๐Ÿ˜Ž Any 'Hello, how are you?' type DMs, & I block. Just so's you know! ๐Ÿ‘

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Where time's stood still
Joined May 2011
Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)Photo by Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž (@LauraAvocado)
Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
If senior people donโ€™t feel they need to resign over the appalling, heartless police mistreatment of Henry Nowak as the eighteen-year-old student lay dying, then how bad would something have to be before senior people resigned? Time was when honour demanded that conduct with heinous consequences led to the people ultimately responsible taking responsibility. I am so sick of the Nothing to see here culture.
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
The similarities between these two clips cannot be a coincidence. Both show grandchildren not wanting to hug their grandparent(s) One is the recent Irish government advert for 'consent' and the other is the new John Lewis advert The nudge is laid bare for you to see
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
I'll just leave this here! Is Britain really still a free country?
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It's a wake up call to disinherit your family and splash your cash on a round the world cruise. ๐Ÿ˜‚
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
The reaction of a recent migrant arrival after being photographed upon reaching our shores (illegally). Honestly, if you were genuinely fleeing war or persecution, wouldn't you show just the tiniest gratitude when landing up in a country you were hoping would give you sanctuary?
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Patrick Christys is doing what our government should be, but is not - fundraising for HELP4HOMELESSVETERANS on @JustGiving. Please donate if you can. justgiving.com/page/saveourvโ€ฆ
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
27 years on the same paper. Consistently valued - despite changing editors, shiny new things and whims of the paymasters wife. And yet, despite the petty cruelty of new overlords, determine to file your last column on the shop floor. God bless this man @LiamHalligan
I was hoping to be able to announce this in my own time โ€“ but the media rumour mill is swirling, I'm being contacted by various reporters and others, and I don't like denying the truth, so ... I wrote my first "Economic Agenda" column in The Sunday Telegraph 27 years ago, under the editorship of Dominic Lawson โ€“ filling-in occasionally during the late-1990s, before being given my own weekly slot from 2003. Since then, while I've been heavily involved in television, and am perhaps better known as a broadcaster, penning "Economic Agenda" for The Sunday Telegraph each week has been the backbone of my journalistic life. On Thursday, the @Telegraph rang to tell me my column is being scrapped. I was asked, and have agreed, to write "Economic Agenda" until the end of November, as per my contract. After that, my Sunday Telegraph column will be no more. Why this decision has been made, and whether or not my columns were any good, is for others to judge. All I will say is that, as the first person in my family to attend university, sustaining a weekly column in a leading national newspaper for a quarter of a century has been a source of enormous pride for myself and my family. Lots of people have been asking me about the future of "Planet Normal" - the hugely-popular Telegraph podcast which I co-created and co-present with the brilliant @AllisonPearson "Planet Normal" has, over the last 330 weekly episodes, also become a major part of my professional life and my broader identity. With Allison reportedly leaving the Telegraph as well, there is a lot of speculation about whether or not the podcast will continue to impart "news and views from beyond the bubble" with our usual blend of sharp analysis, humour and occasional outrage ! Well, I am delighted to confirm that Co-Pilot Pearson and myself are deeply committed to our joint podcast โ€“ and, above all, to our beloved listeners. We will, as and when notice periods allow, continue our voyages through space every Thursday โ€“ perhaps to "Planet Normal", or maybe to another part of the solar system โ€“ so we can "gaze down each week at the madness of Planet Earth", as we have done since the Spring of 2020. So citizens of Planet Normal, stand ready ! The "rocket-of-right-thinking", the "flying refuge of reasoned views", will soon be launched once again ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿช๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ‘ฑโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŽ™๏ธ๐Ÿ“บ I poured my heart and soul into "Economic Agenda" and "Planet Normal". The Telegraph's decision to scrap them is obviously a huge personal blow. But I will always be grateful for the opportunities the paper has given me. Above all, I would like to thank the illustrious list of successive Telegraph business editors I've worked with since the late-1990s, many of whom have become and remain good friends - including @Peston @RobertsDan @larmitstead @neilbenet @benjaminmarlow @cg_williams @kamalahmednews @MarkKleinmanSky @jamesrquinn (sorry if I've forgotten anyone, it's been a long time!) On Friday, even though I almost always write my column from elsewhere, and despite being extremely disappointed by the paper's decision, I decided to go into the Telegraph and write today's column sitting in the newsroom. I am glad I did - as being at the heart of the paper at such a difficult time allowed for lots of conversations, with everyone from junior production staff to senior reporters and executives, which reminded me that journalism, despite being an industry at the whim of seemingly endless and often brutal commercial and technological upheaval, is not only hugely important to our country, but full of talented, decent people. See picture below, having just filed my piece, as I was heading out the door ...
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Mad how Axel Rudakubana's genocidal ancestry has no bearing on his Welsh Choirboyness, even though his parents moved here right before his birth, but I'm completely responsible for Transatlantic slavery 500 years ago.
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
Liam Halligan is the finest economics journalist in the country (daylight second). What an appalling act of self-sabotage from the once great @Telegraph.
I was hoping to be able to announce this in my own time โ€“ but the media rumour mill is swirling, I'm being contacted by various reporters and others, and I don't like denying the truth, so ... I wrote my first "Economic Agenda" column in The Sunday Telegraph 27 years ago, under the editorship of Dominic Lawson โ€“ filling-in occasionally during the late-1990s, before being given my own weekly slot from 2003. Since then, while I've been heavily involved in television, and am perhaps better known as a broadcaster, penning "Economic Agenda" for The Sunday Telegraph each week has been the backbone of my journalistic life. On Thursday, the @Telegraph rang to tell me my column is being scrapped. I was asked, and have agreed, to write "Economic Agenda" until the end of November, as per my contract. After that, my Sunday Telegraph column will be no more. Why this decision has been made, and whether or not my columns were any good, is for others to judge. All I will say is that, as the first person in my family to attend university, sustaining a weekly column in a leading national newspaper for a quarter of a century has been a source of enormous pride for myself and my family. Lots of people have been asking me about the future of "Planet Normal" - the hugely-popular Telegraph podcast which I co-created and co-present with the brilliant @AllisonPearson "Planet Normal" has, over the last 330 weekly episodes, also become a major part of my professional life and my broader identity. With Allison reportedly leaving the Telegraph as well, there is a lot of speculation about whether or not the podcast will continue to impart "news and views from beyond the bubble" with our usual blend of sharp analysis, humour and occasional outrage ! Well, I am delighted to confirm that Co-Pilot Pearson and myself are deeply committed to our joint podcast โ€“ and, above all, to our beloved listeners. We will, as and when notice periods allow, continue our voyages through space every Thursday โ€“ perhaps to "Planet Normal", or maybe to another part of the solar system โ€“ so we can "gaze down each week at the madness of Planet Earth", as we have done since the Spring of 2020. So citizens of Planet Normal, stand ready ! The "rocket-of-right-thinking", the "flying refuge of reasoned views", will soon be launched once again ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿช๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ‘ฑโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŽ™๏ธ๐Ÿ“บ I poured my heart and soul into "Economic Agenda" and "Planet Normal". The Telegraph's decision to scrap them is obviously a huge personal blow. But I will always be grateful for the opportunities the paper has given me. Above all, I would like to thank the illustrious list of successive Telegraph business editors I've worked with since the late-1990s, many of whom have become and remain good friends - including @Peston @RobertsDan @larmitstead @neilbenet @benjaminmarlow @cg_williams @kamalahmednews @MarkKleinmanSky @jamesrquinn (sorry if I've forgotten anyone, it's been a long time!) On Friday, even though I almost always write my column from elsewhere, and despite being extremely disappointed by the paper's decision, I decided to go into the Telegraph and write today's column sitting in the newsroom. I am glad I did - as being at the heart of the paper at such a difficult time allowed for lots of conversations, with everyone from junior production staff to senior reporters and executives, which reminded me that journalism, despite being an industry at the whim of seemingly endless and often brutal commercial and technological upheaval, is not only hugely important to our country, but full of talented, decent people. See picture below, having just filed my piece, as I was heading out the door ...
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
Look at how they are treating the elected President of Poland. If a right wing party did this the establishment in the EU and media would call it an attack on democracy.
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
Leftists have to get their ways through force, propaganda, cheating, rule changes, corruption and lawfare because the policies always eventually fail the people and they stop voting for it.
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To any minister claiming the country is united behind more funding for Ukraine: kindly deduct me from the headcount. A roomful of MPs nodding at one another is not a national opinion poll. You cannot volunteer my agreement simply because youโ€™ve already volunteered my taxes. My position is straightforward: no more British taxpayer money for Ukraine. I want that spending directed towards British people. The existing military commitment alone is ยฃ3 billion a year. Yet ask for meaningful improvements at home and weโ€™re invited to appreciate the complexity of public finances. Difficult choices. Limited resources. Competing priorities. I understand competing priorities perfectly. Iโ€™m telling you which country I think should come first. Britain. I want accessible healthcare, decent roads, affordable energy, proper support for our veterans and public services that justify what we pay for them. Perhaps British patients could hold an international summit. Apparently a waiting room needs flags and a joint communiquรฉ before anyone becomes terribly decisive. And could we have some of that โ€œfor as long as it takesโ€ determination applied to fixing this country? The people paying for these commitments deserve more than a lecture about why their objections are inconvenient. Ministers are entitled to argue for continued funding. They should explain the costs, defend the priorities and acknowledge that people disagree. What they should stop doing is announcing national agreement from the comfort of a chamber whose members have already agreed with themselves. You may have Westminsterโ€™s applause. You do not have mine. Yours, suggesting the British government develop an interest in Britain, A Gentleman from the Old School. ๐ŸŽฉ
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
Nothing highlights the fiscal failure of this government more starkly than the plight of Poundland. The chain's 600 stores and 12,000 workers sit on the verge of collapse, not because its customers have walked away - Poundland's sales grew by 6.7% in September - but because of this government's unaffordable tax rises, which makes it impossible to run a business that works on slim profit margins to keep its prices down for its customers. How ironic that a government preaching about helping the least well-off is forcing a company out of business that does just that.
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
The Courts and Tribunals Bill goes before peers in the House of Lords today, and the Prime Minister is expected to face a rebellion from Labour peers. Good. This Government, like Sir Keir Starmerโ€™s, is pressing ahead with plans to curtail our right to a jury trial. It is a sinister, authoritarian assault on our criminal justice system and English liberty โ€” particularly on free speech. FSU research has shown that people charged with speech offences are almost twice as likely to be found not guilty in a Crown Court with a jury than in a magistratesโ€™ court without one. Put simply, more people could be banged up for exercising their right to free speech.
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
โ™ฆ๏ธWHITE PRIVILEGEโ™ฆ๏ธ This is how our cotton mills and wool mills made their profits, which afforded them their fine stone-built mansions on the outskirts of mill towns. It was dangerous work, fingers were often lost, eye injuries common, no comfort breaks, no health insurance and no factory nurse. This work was done on empty bellies after a walk to work. Malnutrition was common place and discipline hard. A water barrel with a wooden ladle for dry dusty days as cotton dander filled the choking air. There were no holidays to look forward to, no sick pay, and kids as young as 7 sent to work in the miserable conditions their parents stomached for a lifetime. They didn't play much, they were too knackered for that. A cold hard bed was all they could hope for. Arthritis and joint pains kicked in early as crippled fingers in their middle years struggled with looms. And our MPs talk about reparations for slavery, when every God damned nation was using slaves. White privilege... you disgust me. There should be a plaque of remembrance dedicated to the entire working class! #DawnButlerMP
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
Why would anyone fight for a country that puts immigrants above its own people.
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
There is something extraordinary about being called a coward by a generation so terrified of being labelled racist that it surrendered every argument about the future of its own country. And there is something profoundly entitled about a government that dismisses the grievances of its native-born sons, undermines their prospects of owning a home and raising a family, then dares to lecture them about duty and sacrifice. You were afraid of being called names. Now you demand that they be prepared to die.
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
Why would anyone die for a nation that arrests its own citizens for saying mean words about invaders?
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Laura ๐Ÿฅ‘ ๐Ÿ˜Ž retweeted
Replying to @brenkav
Socialists love building extensive snitch networks. And be sure, whoever snitched about a child's toy cafe won't suffer any repercussions whatsoever. Their nose will be stuck in someone else's business in short order and the Bedfordshire Borough Council Nazi will be looking under the floorboards in someone else's home shortly.
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