Mark Allan Olson

Job interviews are fucking ridiculous. 😂 “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Hopefully somewhere I don’t have to answer this question ever again. “Why do you want to work for us?” Because my landlord refuses to accept good vibes and positive affirmations as rent. “What’s your biggest weakness?” Trying to keep a straight face when people ask me questions like these. “Why should we hire you?” Because you need someone to do the job, and I need money to survive. Seems like we could save each other a lot of time here. “Tell me about a time you faced a challenge.” I’m sitting in front of you, pretending these questions are normal while trying to secure my financial survival. “Why did you leave your last job?” Because apparently wanting better pay and less stress is no longer considered a valid career move. And my personal favorite: “Do you have any questions for us?” Yes. How much does it pay, how bad is the management, and how quickly can I use my PTO? We're all adults pretending this isn't a transaction. You need labor, I need a paycheck. Can we please stop acting like this is a first date? 💀😂