We can lend support from the SPCC (Strategic Pickle Command Center)

To be fair, I embrace all colors of hair. My video game characters cycle through three versions A redhead named Redclaw (duh), a blonde named Starlight, and a raven haired woman named (drumroll…) Raven. As I mentioned a while back, all my video game characters in my head canon are the same hero soul bouncing between different universes, like Michael Moorcock’s eternal champion.

Dispatch from Redclaw, Beautiful & Beloved Queen Of Greenland 🇬🇱 I am pleased to announce the establishment of Greenland’s Comprehensive Layered Arctic Watch (CLAW), a comprehensive program to ensure the continued security and sovereignty of my beautiful kingdom. The initiative includes advanced radar installations, coastal surveillance, modern search-and-rescue capabilities, and a highly sophisticated network of strategically positioned catgirl observers. The latter has attracted a disproportionate amount of attention from the international press and other foriegn adversaries. One newspaper asked whether the catgirls will be issued military uniforms. The cat girls will continue to rock the red trenchcoat and black bodysuits from our supervillain days. They are “diabolically fine” and “god-tier rizz” as the kids say. I find it rather reassuring that foreign governments are devoting considerable resources to determining whether my catgirls need vision enhancing gear, while apparently failing to notice that I have already anticipated their next six strategic decisions. Some have questioned whether Greenland requires such extensive defensive preparations. To these people, I would point out that Greenland occupies an extraordinarily important strategic position in the Arctic and possesses considerable natural resources. Also, I used to be a supervillain. I have learned that the best time to prepare for an invasion is before the potential invading party has finished discussing whether an invasion would be a good idea. My defence doctrine is straightforward: Greenland shall be peaceful, Greenland shall be prosperous, and anyone contemplating hostile action against Greenland shall first encounter a level of administrative, logistical, and strategic difficulty so overwhelming that they will seriously consider taking up gardening instead. My catgirl minions have embraced their new responsibilities with considerable enthusiasm. Their initial training exercise involved identifying suspicious vessels, maintaining observation logs, and distinguishing between a potential hostile craft and a fishing boat. The results were encouraging, although one squad spent forty minutes monitoring a particularly suspicious iceberg. I wish to reassure our international friends that Greenland’s new defensive capabilities are entirely defensive. We have no intention of threatening anyone, annexing anyone else’s territory, or interfering in the internal affairs of other nations. We are simply making certain that Greenland remains an exceptionally unattractive target for anyone with questionable intentions. The catgirls have completed their first deployment and report that the coast is clear. They have requested additional fish rations, warmer observation posts, and permission to name their surveillance stations after anime characters. All three requests have been approved. I am benevolent and never unreasonable. Long live Greenland! Long live the Aurora Throne! And may all who approach our shores come in peace, bring appropriate documentation, tasty treats, and remember that the catgirls are watching.

To be fair, I am unusually clever for a broad

Hey, the *.mouse domain is very exclusive. How dare he!

To be honest, a bit, yes. It’s a terrible department that made education worse, and should’ve been shut down already. This just feels like Puss in boots, making sad please love me eyes

😳 But is there magic in yearning?

Some friends and I did have a bit of a gothy phase, but our school had a dress code, so… Also, dyeing my hair black would’ve been a war crime, no offense to the naturally raven haired

Well, I lucked out and had 15 minutes warning he was going to ask so I was able to come up with something. I’m a humorous writer, but not a wit. If you’re at a party, and someone says something worthy of a funny response, a wit will come up with something funny in about two or three seconds. A humorous writer will come up with something really really funny… 30 minutes later. The French even have a saying about this. “L’esprit de l’escalier” or “the wit of the staircase” It describes the perfect comeback or clever remark that occurs to you only after the conversation is over, when you’re already walking down the stairs to leave.

Guys are not interested in head games. When a man at my work asked me out, I knew he liked the Indiana Jones films. So I sat back in my chair, looked at him, paused dramatically, and said, “You have chosen… wisely.” We’re married with four children now.

No, but you can breathe this. Theoretically.

I’m selling a lot of my old supervillain stuff. You can have this plasma tank for $3.2 million. I’m willing to go lower because I stole it.