Pedro Cordeo

Eliot Shorr-Parks Training Camp Stats, Day 10: With Hurts attempting only 12 passes Tuesday, @EliotShorrParks was forced to grade on a limited sample. Fortunately, that has never stopped him before. The sample did include a beautiful 45-yard touchdown to Elijah Moore and a bullet to Dontayvion Wicks. ESP quickly clarified the touchdown came against the second-team defense before anyone accidentally enjoyed it. ESP was especially encouraged by Hurts handing the ball off from under center, an increasingly important development in his evaluation of the reigning Super Bowl MVP. It wasn’t a busy day, but ESP once again proved you don’t need a large sample size when you already know what grade you want to give. Day 10 Stats: 12 Tweets, 0 IQ 2026 Stats: 158.3 Buzzkill Rating Grade: F-

Eliot Shorr-Parks Training Camp Stats, Day 6: After a disastrous Day 5, ESP bounced back with another impressive display of confidently being wrong. He opened practice by firing off multiple tweets before anyone else, ensuring accuracy never had a chance to get involved. His next few reps consisted of turning incompletions into breaking news and completions into reasons for concern. Later in practice, he successfully ignored several good plays in favor of finding one thing to complain about. Overall another efficient day from ESP. Day 6 Stats: 14 Tweets, 0 IQ 2026 Stats: Countless bad takes, 0 accountability Grade: F