@PartyWaffle

All seeing, all knowing Trevor https://xitter.cf/t.co/3Bp3vMeNH2

 Southern California
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets29.6K
  • Following589
  • Followers1.8K
1.8KMedia
I wish more dumb people were shy
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I’m Morgan Morgan-Morgan, of Morgan & Morgan.
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Party Waffle retweeted
BEAVE
@Beaveinflow2h
Well, well, well, if it isn’t another reason to fake my own death and start over.
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slice@sliceofheck2h
The fuck is a bleph
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David 🎃@DBStoner28 Apr 2020
My stimulus package is a bag of coke.
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My heart is made to be broken—like a bike helmet.
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ashley noelle
@ash_isawitch3h
If I’m putting myself in your shoes, they better not be Crocs.
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boiled angel@elisepleaseOct 25
If you don’t have any scary Halloween soundtracks you could just put on ESPN and wait for a commercial break.
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The tarot cards showed me choking on a gobbler in the wawa parking lot
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SpellBound 🍒@Spell_bounddOct 20
Cant stand a grumpy mfer Its me. Im the grumpy mfer
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Caitlin@caitlin_mmm13h
One of my favorite things to do is writing out a detailed to do list and then never looking at it again
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Melissa (M²)@ToolGirl18Oct 22
I love when work feels like a ticking time bomb. I'm sure it will end just fine.
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Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker6h
I think I might be the hottest person on this jury.
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I see that my reputation precedes me
Jen@SleepEatScream2 Aug 2025
Life is too short for shitty sex and people who put pineapple on their pizza.
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Darla
@ddsmidt11 Mar 2017
*Drunk dials Mr. Clean* My house is soooo dirty right now
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erica@ericanextdooorSep 23
she’s got larry david eyes
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Strange to think that the guy who invented pants wasn't even wearing any pants when he invented them.
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JaxEsq ⚖️ ⸆⸉@THEJaxEsq8h
*Cheesecake Factory cravings intensify*
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Smoking weed is like jerking off. I don’t mind if you do it just don’t blow it in my face.
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🎃Case🎃@Cactuscali1991210h
Why they'd call it Viagra when they could have called it "Peenicillin".
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I'm just a girl standing in front of a task, hoping it completes itself.
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