VCs are like Chads on dating apps.
Founders are the Hot Girls.
Warm intro is swiping.
Mutual goal is to spin plates until highest value roster assembled- promiscuous capital formation carousel.
After commitment- soft harem of subsequent rounds.
M&A/IPO exit: transcendence.
VCs are hunters.
They find most deals outside the nest and love the chase.
If you cold email/DM, they’ll think something’s wrong, why would prey offer itself up?
Want funding fast? Be hunted.
Bonus: if more than one hunts you, they get even more excited.
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Follow me for the entire Venture Coffee series kicking off in February!
1. Can be addressed by tax policy and better info to LP funders:
Public Pensions: 30-35% of VC -- this money should be freed up for folks to invest directly in startups with favorable tax treatment, i.e. no tax on first $X in gains.
Endowments/Foundations: 20-25% of VC-- donors should know that their donations are going into sucky VC bets.
Maybe the rest of the LPs will follow any correction from the above and stop funding failure mode jabronis out of herd mentality:
Insurance Companies: 5-10%
Sovereign Wealth Funds: 5-8%
Corporate Pensions: 3-5%
Fund of Funds: 3-5%
Others: 5-10%
Except for this source of GP fees:
Family Offices: 15-20%-- lots of VC folks are married into these and that's why they are VCs. Would be fun/revelatory to connect those dots.
2. YC points the way-- an open, non warm intro filtering, preferably data driven, alpha creating process, but one that scales like TikTok-- this is what I'm building with Slyk.
3. You can't educate people who don't suffer the consequences of their bad bets. From what I can tell, GPs and LPs seldom get punished for backing the wrong founders/startups. They can hand wave at power laws, and continue to spray and pray, deuce and juice.
This all has to change because 90% failure rate of founders/startups/vcs discourage potential founders from risk-taking at a time when we need 1000x more startups and entrepreneurship in general.
We are ripe for a new stage of VC. Image from @Prof_Slyk and his Venture Coffee series. Give him a follow if you like this sort of stuff.
They want you fat, dumb, and contained.
Why are the models and actors all zaftig now?
Because the people are too.
What's the solution from the promoters of zaftig health?
A pill.
They get to have their big ag profits and their big Pharma profits too.
Next up: bug sludge for healthy protein, pod for healthy living.
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Mr Slyk retweeted
Check out this drop on @soundxyz_
sound.xyz/zackbrucenuclearfa…
Founders: Don't waste time thinking about VC "dry powder."
Even if they dump some into their flintlock rifle and take aim at the heat signature of a warm intro to an in-group team that "checks all the boxes," they almost never hit the mark.
#VCbaristas
“Why Bill Gurley & Josh Wolfe Think VCs Won’t Deploy All Their Dry Powder Anytime Soon”
@EricNewcomer on @bgurley + Lux take
newcomer.co/p/why-bill-gurle…
Giving bad advice to founders with warm intro caveats and syrupy sorries is the a-z of the busted founder/startup/vc paradigm.
They guy worked at YC for a year but doesn't understand that YC success comes from bundling product, capital, and community?
Mr Slyk retweeted
Avoid the baristas of Venture Capital.
Brew your own at home, then invite collaborators to join your klatch.
Then build, grow, share upside.
Then raise from your community.
Then apply to YC or Founders U to take it to the next level.
Don't squander your precious Founder Energy.
Now with some chonky captions for you animals.
Listen to @Prof_Slyk explain why 90% of Founders fail and why the solution is focus on Community before MVP or VC.
Give him a follow. He's a mensch.
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Communism is Cannibalism.
@elonmusk please spread this meme.
Communism is Cannibalism.
I want to be on record for inventing this meme in English (vain I know). I gifted the Spanish version to a friend.
It's a rich vein to tap:
1. Big govt feeds off economic productivity of its citizens.
2. Socialism & Communism are the biggest govts.
3. Socialism/Communism are illogical, nonsensical systems that only innocent, retarded, or power-hungry folks can believe.
3. Kuru is fatal brain disease caused by cannibalism.
4. To be a communist or socialist is to be a cannibal and it results in madness and organic brain disease.
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Inspired by #VCs giving #Startup advice and wasting precious #Founder energy with #coffee meetings...
Let's consider the past, present, and future of founder/startup/capital formation & coffee.
With apologies to @sumukhsridhara and his @vcstarterkit.
Every time a VC shares advice of any kind, ask them these questions:
1. What have you built besides a machine that converts Founder Energy into Management Fees.
2. What is the survivorship rate of the startups you've invested in?
3. What's your CoC LP return rate?
^^Actually this is not advice for founders per se — it’s advice for me!
When I thought about what I wanted to build next after my last co (which was in adtech), I wanted it to be my life’s work.
This is how I decided to build @HustleFundVC & why I’ll never retire!
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VCs giving public advice to founders should:
1. Show their track record building something other than a money-skimming machine.
2. Show the track record of returning cash to LPs.
90%+ of VCs never build + are terrible at making bets on founders.
RIP Baristas of Capital.☕️
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hey hey hey!
#qvapreneur
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Mr Slyk retweeted
Free market quid pro quo: incentives, rewards, shared risk/upside.
Socialist reductio ad absurdum: incentives are economic coercion predicated on entrenched power inequalities of the capital/labor classes.
In the #Parsaverse it's all wealth creation games.
Haha « breslowed » and « fugazi heat signature » nice @Prof_Slyk Give our new head of SlykRaise Success a follow.
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