R. M. S. Thornton · Sep 24, 2026 · 6:03 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

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R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonSep 24

Check out my latest book--Expired Thoughts, Still Edible. You can find it on Amazon. See link. amazon.com/Expired-Thoughts-…

Expired Thoughts, Still Edible: Dark, Strange, and Unforgettable Stories

If someone told you there exists a book that jumps from dark psychological horror… to philosophical reflection…to satirical Road House fan fiction… to Peter Pan reimagined as a frat bro—you’d...

amazon.com

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 27, 2026 · 4:42 AM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThornton12h

If you replace Romy with Elizabeth Holmes, it works perfectly. And no, Romy's deep voice wasn't modified.

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 27, 2026 · 3:58 AM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThornton12h

Jay-Z picking himself for the Super Bowl halftime show like

R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 27, 2026 · 2:44 AM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThornton14h

Jay-Z picking himself to perform the Super Bowl halftime show

Autism Capital 🧩 · Oct 25, 2026 · 10:47 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton retweeted

Autism Capital 🧩

@AutismCapitalOct 25

Nicki Minaj’s ass is so big Trump is thinking of renaming it America.

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Titania McGrath · Oct 26, 2026 · 4:37 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton retweeted

Titania McGrath

@TitaniaMcGrathOct 26

Today I’m wearing my keffiyeh jacket to show my solidarity with Gaza. Hand-finished in cashmere-and-silk bouclé, £3,250.

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 26, 2026 · 12:15 AM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonOct 26

Trump talking about Nicki Minaj with J. D. Vance

R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 24, 2026 · 3:59 AM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonOct 24

The Atalanta Falcons new coaching staff is wild making this dance videos

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 23, 2026 · 10:57 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonOct 23

The Atlanta Falcons have just released footage of the failed art student who designed their logo rebrand

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 22, 2026 · 11:59 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonOct 22

Ilhan Omar and her husband the morning after their wedding night

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 22, 2026 · 6:34 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonOct 22

Kevin Stefanski getting interviewed by the NFL top brass after the Atlanta Falcons new logo dropped

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Siraj Hashmi · Oct 22, 2026 · 5:49 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton retweeted

Siraj Hashmi

@SirajAHashmiOct 22

Someone called it “The Bird Reich”

Atlanta Falcons

@AtlantaFalconsOct 21

New PFP 👀

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Ilya Abyzov · Oct 22, 2026 · 1:59 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton retweeted

Ilya Abyzov

@IlyaAbyzovOct 22

Atlanta Falcons

@AtlantaFalconsOct 21

New PFP 👀

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 22, 2026 · 5:40 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonOct 22

The Atlanta Falcons revealing their new logo

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 22, 2026 · 2:04 AM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonOct 22

Chris Hansen catches Batman trying to meet a young boy

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 22, 2026 · 2:02 AM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonOct 22

Ilhan Omar right now be like

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R. M. S. Thornton · Oct 21, 2026 · 9:19 PM UTC

R. M. S. Thornton

@RMSThorntonOct 21

Whenever I see a new doctor, they always notice I'm an attorney and inevitably ask what kind of law I practice. I like to respond with "Plaintiff's side medical malpractice". 4/5 doctors don't find that joke funny.