Writer, performer, media artist, etc. For everything else I do, visit https://nitter.gq/t.co/uwwPdjd7xy. Pronouns: We/Us/Y’all.
Buffalo, NY
Joined March 2009
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RonEhmke retweeted
Ten million people have watched a comedian accidentally destroy the entire TED talk industry.
He filmed the talk once at TEDxNewYork in 2014 and openly admitted he had nothing to say.
Speaking coaches charge $5,000 to teach the exact tricks he used in 6 minutes to say nothing at all.
His name is Will Stephen. He is a comedian from Late Night with Seth Meyers who was invited to give a real TED talk and used it to prove the format is a costume anyone can wear.
Every TED speaker opens with a question, tells a personal story, cites a scientist, and shows a chart. Stephen did all four in six minutes with zero content.
His entire formula fits on a napkin.
Gesture with both hands. Ask the audience a question anyone can answer. Tell a mildly embarrassing story so they say aww. Point to a stranger on a slide and call them important. Flash a chart of random numbers. Wear glasses with no lenses. The audience will think you are brilliant.
That last trick alone has probably cost the public speaking coaching industry a hundred million dollars in sessions clients should have skipped.
"If you watched me on YouTube with the sound off, you would think I was a genius."
That is Will Stephen on the TED stage, three minutes into the talk he was paid to give. He wasn't lying.
Executives pay $15,000 for a keynote coach and still open with a joke the room never laughs at. Founders rehearse their pitch for weeks and still sound like Stephen at minute four, saying "wagga wah, gabba gabba" with authority.
The talk is free on YouTube. The method is written across every TED speaker's playbook for ten years.
Stephen still writes for Seth Meyers. Almost none of the ten million viewers have stopped nodding at empty slides since.
The formula is free. The willingness to actually say something before your next keynote, pitch, or townhall is the entire edge.
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States of America.
Donald Trump: “he's a moron. no, there's something wrong with him. i used to sort of like him or something, but now i can't even watch him. he's like, “gross.” then he goes into the comedies. he's no good for comedies. maybe somebody should tell him, but he's terrible. and, you know, since he and a couple of the other losers out there, and now they, it's a funny thing, and now they're all calling me, kissing my ass. they want tax credits for hollywood 'cause hollywood's dying and other countries are taken away. “sir, could we please meet you?” and guys that have been saying bad crap about me for years are sitting in my office. “sir, it's a great honor to be with you, sir.” see, the great thing about the internet is that all you do is you press a button, and it tells you everything they've said for the last 20 years. ding, ding. no, it's amazing. now they want tax credits 'cause their industry is dying in this country. and i'll probably do it. should i do it? probably. ashley, i don't know. i am being lobbied. i mean, even stupid schiff, shifty schiff. he said, “i approve of the president's. when he says approve, then i don't think we can do it.” no, i'm getting shifty schiff, shifty adam schiff, one of the more corrupt politicians in the country. you know, but they want. they want, you know, the movie tax credits and television tax credits, and it's unbelievable. sir, we think you're a great president. you're doing. maybe we have a meeting, sir. sir, i'd like to just say before we begin, i was misquoted when i called you an asshole. i misquoted you, sir. they misquoted me. i didn't say that, sir. how dare. i'm bringing a lawsuit against that paper immediately. and, sir, would it be possible for you to save us because we are dying? we're dying in hollywood. hollywood doesn't mean hollywood anymore. hollywood is empty because foreign countries. the democrats have allowed foreign countries. canada. oh, canada. no, canada is not doing so well. you know, they ripped us off for 50 years. they ain't ripping us off anymore, i can tell you, but they took our movie. but canada, the united kingdom, and australia. and i have one guy. he's actually a nice guy. he's a movie producer, a big one. he said, “i cannot go to australia anymore. it's only about a 23-hour flight.” i said, “oh, you don't like sitting in a plane in order to check the studio, then hop back in and come back home?” so they're all offering these big things, and i don't know. we'll have to think about it, ashley, right? we'll think about it. i'll tell you one thing. you'll have more democrats voting for you than you do republicans. but we have. i had a great show, and i got to know a lot of people during that, “the apprentice,” and there was a big debate on television this week, last week, and if i didn't do “the apprentice,” would i still be president? they're asking that question, “would trump be?” and they were just. like, they got into a fight over it. if you didn't do that show, i'm telling you he wouldn't be. well, they picked me 'cause i was famous. that's why they picked me. then when it went to number one, they were in deep trouble. but they picked me 'cause i was famous. so let me ask you a question. if i did not do “the apprentice,” would i still be president? i think. i think. no, it's a big question. no, it's a big question. we captured and brought to justice the outlaw dictator of venezuela, nicolas maduro, who is now awaiting trial. we love the venezuelan people. and we won the war in venezuela in one day. i watched this total dope, ro khanna. fox puts him on all the time. you know, fox is giving democrats more time than they give republicans. i don't know what those. i'm working my ass off. i'm doing rallies, and i come back, and i watch the opponent of the person i did the rally for. i'm not happy. but i watched ro khanna, of course, on fox this morning. i can't watch him. he's such a fake. and he's a radical left loser. and he was saying things like, “the war.” oh, he wanted to impeach me because of the war that we have with iran. in other words, he wants to impeach me because i've taken the.”
RonEhmke retweeted
The full Hard Rain concert at Fort Collins is on streaming today. A little light reading while you listen.
“Who the fuck cut up Bob Dylan’s painting of Christ?”
flaggingdown.com/p/an-oral-h…
RonEhmke retweeted
When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me-it still sometimes happens-and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don't ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting.
Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous, not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance. . . . That pure chance could be so generous and so kind. . . . That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time. . . . That we could be together for twenty years.
That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful. . . . The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday.
I don't think I'll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.
- Ann Druyan
RonEhmke retweeted
Fox: Why are you here this morning?
Trump rally attendee: Well, in the late 70s, I was a little too young to go to South America for the Jonestown Massacre. But this is as close as I'll ever get, so that's why I'm here. There's nothing like seeing a cult right up front.
Ladies and gentlemen, the leader of the free world.
Lots to unpack here but Trump says Bill Maher is an unfunny loser pothead/drunk and the recent dinner was a waste of time.
TRUMP: Let's talk about this COMPLETE AND TOTAL LOSER, Bill Maher.
When I became President, I agreed to meet, after the first one, and the last one, but never agreed to do his show, which he wants me to do, DESPARATELY
I believe he lied to me when I asked him, with all the applause and laughter he gets after almost everything he says, about thing that aren't funny or even any good, what Laughter Machine does he use? People can't think he's funny.
Bill was very nervous. He asked for a drink. He was very insecure, and he had a seriously bruised eye and nose area, as though somebody had just beaten him up — But it wasn't me!
No sooner had we had that first dinner at the White House, which is a very seductive and beautiful place, especially now that I have fully renovated and fixed it in the style which it deserves, Bill wanted to come back.
Also, I wanted to tell Bill that he's a major POTHEAD. He's got to stop, it's very bad for his health. He looked like hell this time. Bill was drunk and had alcohol in his hand as he walked through the White House. Stephen A. Smith and Kid Rock came along with him.
I learned nothing, and felt it was a waste of time. After the first dinner, Bill Maher was friendly, I guess, everyone walked away pleased.
After the second dinner, Bill's "show" was far worse than the first. He went crazy! He's gutless, because he enjoyed every minute.
Also, I am not a building a swimming pool in the White House Briefing Room, and never had any intention of doing so.
RonEhmke retweeted
This is Tommy. Tommy had a question about my allegiances. Listen to the end to hear about his.
RonEhmke retweeted
I have heard from a very reliable and tope secret source, that he saw Talarico with a Chinese menu in his hand, walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain. I think we're finally getting somewhere.
RonEhmke retweeted
"What right had I to be the next Jesus Christ?" Victor Garber writes. "I was a mere 23 years old. I was raised not in Nazareth but in the small, provincial city of London, Ontario. I was a gay man in a time when it was still far from acceptable to be publicly out. I had never graduated from high school, let alone college, having dropped out at age 16 after flunking ninth grade. I had been living for half my life with type 1 diabetes, the kind that requires daily injections of insulin. And I had been raised Jewish. Yes, I know, Jesus, too, was Jewish, but he was not of the bagel-eating, garment-business tribe to which my family belonged."
It was March 25, 1972. Garber was one of hundreds of hopefuls who had come to audition for the Toronto production of 'Godspell.' The show, a musical based on the Gospel of Matthew, had opened a year earlier in New York and become an Off Broadway smash. There was no show hotter, and its premise — that Jesus and his disciples are young hippie clowns in face paint and thrift-shop clothes who relate their parables via catchy folk-rock songs — was irresistible to seemingly every performer under the age of 25 in greater Toronto.
"I remember scanning the room and thinking to myself, 'This is not a normal group of people.' I had done several plays and TV shows by that point, so I had met my share of gifted, funny actors. I also knew myself to be capable of being funny onstage. But this gang was a level of funny beyond anything I had ever seen — so smart, so inventive, so adept at rapid-fire comedic Ping-Pong. Plus they were all, to a person, even the non-Canadians like Andrea [Martin] and Gilda [Radner], so nice. It was an instant lovefest, a brand-new set of best friends."
In a new essay, Garber looks back on the role that would change his life: nymag.visitlink.me/qaEL2A
RonEhmke retweeted
It is the duty of elder generations to remind the younger ones that even in the midst of great decadence and upheaval, great art is still possible.
Jack has got our back.
A resident of East Westdale emailed me that on the first first day of school, they gave her son gender reassignment surgery. She was very mad about this, but adding insult to the wound, she had already bought him a gym uniform and the school would not let her exchange it for a girl's gym uniform. It's all a racket to make more money for the schools.
