CrustfundBabies retweeted
If you're a man upset at being lumped in with rapists, attackers and general arseholes just because of your gender, maybe take it up with the men who give us a bad name instead of women who have to be on guard 24/7 because of them.
CrustfundBabies retweeted
[being dragged away from brunch]
PANCKAES ARE JUST FLAT WAFFLES
[taser noises]
CrustfundBabies retweeted
Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice shame on me Fool me a third time hey this is a pretty good scam can i get in on this
CrustfundBabies retweeted
I have two sick squirrels. The first one has some kind of mange (I forgot the name) that's finally his second dose of medicine. The right one had some kind of head injury that was so severe his eyes were nearly swollen shut. You can still see the scar, but they're getting better
CrustfundBabies retweeted
Everyone has owned a tennis racket at some point but has no idea where it came from
CrustfundBabies retweeted
Tis the season to hate all the assholes who leave their pets outside in the freezing cold
CrustfundBabies retweeted
Polostan, my new novel, is coming out October 15. It’s the first book in a new series I’m calling Bomb Light. More info to come as we get closer, but for now: harpercollins.com/products/p… @wmmorrowbooks
CrustfundBabies retweeted
We only rate dogs. This is a meteorite that has fallen from a clearly superior part of the galaxy. Please only send dogs. Thank you... 14/10

ALT an overhead view of a section of grassy yard. there’s a trail of dirt carved out from the earth that leads in from the photo’s lower left and ends in the middle, with a little golden retriever puppy curled up and snoozling at the end of the track, as if they skidded to a halt and passed out right then and there. the puppy is surrounded by a white plastic play pen, and there’s a big metal water bowl off to one side.


















