Mental health professional. Recovering lawyer. Amateur pastry chef. Easily distracted by cheese, 80s cover songs, and free-to-play iPhone games.
Flyover Country
Joined November 2012
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Just Justin retweeted
World Cup Final potential matchups, ranked
1) France/England
2) France/Argentina
3) a giant hole opening right under MetLife
4) Spain/England
5) a meteor that eliminates 99% of all life
6) Spain/Argentina
Just Justin retweeted
Alternative idea: Taylor Swift jar where the husband must pay every time he invalidates his wife’s interests
Couple's 'Taylor Swift Jar' — Where Wife Must Pay Every Time She Mentions the Star — Goes Viral (Exclusive) people.com/taylor-swift-jar-…
Y'ALL. My sister is a newly minted Swiftie who is currently Going Through Some Shit at her high powered corporate job, and has really been vibing with The Archer this week, and told me she made a funfetti cake to help process (already a hilarious juxtaposition) and I SCREAMED:
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If therapy were like World Cup football, and my therapist scored a goal every time she made me cry, and I scored a goal every time I made her snort laugh, most of our matches would be tight, nervy 0-0 or 1-0 affairs. But tonight was a 3-2 barn-burner I won in extra time. ⚽️🇺🇸🎉
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Just Justin retweeted
Chatting w/a friend last night, we agreed that one of the biggest scams of the contemporary era is convincing millions of people that they have the exact same mental health struggles (anxiety/depression) for wholly personal, and not systemic/structural, reasons. Good one. 10/10
If you do “Livin’ on a Prayer” at karaoke night, and you chicken out of the key change, the microphone should be cut immediately and you should be escorted out of the facility by force.
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When I was growing up, what passed for mental health advice was a consistent, yet firm reminder that I alone had the mental fortitude, self-awareness, and interpersonal connections required to fight for my right to party.
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Just Justin retweeted
sounds like somebody needs to spend 6 hours watching attorneys carefully choose the people with the least knowledge & understanding of the world around them
It’s Sunday afternoon - time to crack open a cold one* with my boys**
*a caffeine-free Coke Zero
*all my neighbors in Animal Crossing
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Just Justin retweeted
I’m sorry these Oscars are amazing I feel alive again
Is this how straight men feel watching sports
You know who could kick the Russians out of Ukraine in six hours, tops? The eight suburban moms circling this Trader Joe’s parking lot at 1pm on a Tuesday.
