The Rules (@TheRules) profile picture

The Rules

@TheRules

Your daily dose of The Rules. In no particular order. Also on Facebook http://t.co/HhFIrQbvMj

 NYC
Joined August 2008
  • Tweets880
  • Following40
  • Followers6.4K
9Media
Photo by The Rules (@TheRules)Photo by The Rules (@TheRules)Photo by The Rules (@TheRules)
Cartoon for June 26, 2019 on #trump #BorderCrisis #BORDER #TrumpCamps #TrumpConcentrationCamps – at Halifax, Nova Scotia
Image from Michael de Adder (@deAdder)
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The Rules@TheRules15 Sep 2010
Rule No. 477: If it's funny, someone is offended by it.
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except at a roast, where it's the entire fucking point nitter.gq/therealroseanne/status…
Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) profile pictureRoseanne Barr
@therealroseanne29 Apr 2018
first rule of comedy: NEVER target someone more famous than U who is in the audience. U will lose the entire crowd.
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The Rules@TheRules14 Dec 2010
Rule No. 148: If it takes more than two text messages, just call.
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The Rules@TheRules19 Aug 2011
Rule No. 429: When it rains, sometimes it just rains.
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The Rules@TheRules28 Mar 2011
Rule No. 726: The world owes you nothing; it was here first. (credit: Mark Twain)
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The Rules@TheRules19 Jan 2012
Rule No. 46: ████ ██ █ ████ everything ███ █████ is █████ ████ ████ fine ████ ███ █ ██████ love █████ ██████ ███ your █████ ████ government.
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The Rules@TheRules1 Jun 2011
Rule No. 533: Until told otherwise, assume shoes and shirt are required.
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The Rules@TheRules21 Jan 2013
Rule No. 143: A wedgie is best dealt with in private.
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"Oh he knew how bad this would look. If a man shits his pants on purpose he's trying to cover up something that smells a lot fucking worse."
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Replying to @TheRules
@TheRules, number 1087, When in doubt wear a tie, you can always take it off, but rarely can you put one on.
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493. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king. Fetch him beers.
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Ga 🕶 (@loograt) profile picture
Ga 🕶@loograt14 Jan 2011
Replying to @TheRules
@TheRules Rule 742: There's always a Simpson's reference to every situation you might encounter
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The Rules retweeted
Adam GD (@AdamGD) profile picture
Adam GD@AdamGD19 Dec 2010
Should probably add this to @TheRules list RT @Gothamist: When You Have 513 Pounds Of Pot, Don't Run Red Lights http://bit.ly/hyrmpJ
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Errante (@Jueyo1404) profile picture
Errante@Jueyo14042 Dec 2010
cc @TheRules - > RT @_tiny_dancer: Rule nº 878: Don't drink and tweet
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Replying to @TheRules
@TheRules for your consideration (true story): If you fall asleep in a tube top, it'll be a tube middle by morning.
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Replying to @TheRules
@TheRules Rule No. 922 When someone's voicemail says your call is important to them, it really means your call is not important.
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