@ThomasAwful

Baltimore bookseller. once wrote stuff: SFGate, The Ringer, GQ, Complex, Deadspin, Vice, the New Yorker

 Baltimore, MD
Joined December 2008
  • Tweets132K
  • Following4.1K
  • Followers4.7K
15.2KMedia
Roast Beef. 2010-2023. My best friend in the entire world. You are my entire heart. We love you so much. After thirteen years I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without you. Thank you for making me a better person. Thank you for choosing me.
116
23
2
3,040
161,216
Every Israeli you know hates Netanyahu but he’s going to be in charge forever and you just have to accept that!
2
29
The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸 retweeted
GoliathFan1952@ByYourLogic14 Mar 2024
I don’t really “get” H3H3, probably because I’m too old. but there are things about the show I find great. I like that the husband is always nervously explaining a post he made, and the wife is just giving him absolutely NOTHING while wearing one of Pootie Tang’s outfits
119
822
49
18,105
1,163,481
The song list is dumb. Not gonna think about it too much or really ever again. Dumb though!
261
He might give them 4 or 5 tomorrow night
warriorsworld
@warriorsworld17h
JK might give Kerr and the Dubs 45 tomorrow night
4
277
The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸 retweeted
Lauren Lavín@lalavin666Oct 27
ms rat 🐀@ratbitebaby10 Jun 2023
misogyny checkpoint: what’s the first tweet that shows up when you search “women” on your page ?
2
6
40
1,255
Finding Tamara
Eric Levitz
@EricLevitzOct 26
Funny to think about how well-funded Nathan Fielder’s next project is going to be. Dude might actually build an entire model city
270
Panic attack lasting three hours
4
238
The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸 retweeted
rae 🫠@RaeWitteOct 27
just saw some man on IG refer to intelligence as your “intellectual body count” discussing being in conversation with someone dumber than you
3
1
15
1,017
The Brewers are not being Midwest Nice rn
4
287
My dude is laser focused on making America healthy again.
Bulwark Clips
@BulwarkClipsOct 26
RFK: "There's five hundred million Arabs in the world. And yet they don't produce science. They don't win the Novel Prize. They don't win the Fields Prize. They don't win the Wolf Prize. They don't produce literature."
1
8
332
What celebrities have you made laugh? I'll skip the big one I always brag about and say I'm very proud of making David Strathairn chortle.
172
The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸 retweeted
Adam Friedland
@AdamFriedlandOct 26
Ethan Klein I’d like to hear your side
299
1,667
88
47,307
1,004,386
The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸 retweeted
Eric Allen Hatch@ericallenhatchOct 26
Justin Theroux: I know who The Girl is The Cowboy:
5
71
1
966
17,481
Saw this in the theater and my girlfriend at the time was like "Can you please stop breathing so hard"
Janus Films
@janusfilmsOct 26
Thrilled to announce the 25th Anniversary 4K theatrical re-release of Alfonso Cuarón's erotic coming-of-age masterpiece "Y tu mamá también" Back in theaters spring 2027!
15
443
The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸 retweeted
Rick Perlstein@rickperlsteinOct 26
This is not writing. It's farting.
Matthew Yglesias
@mattyglesiasOct 26
Earnest take: I think it’s probably not healthy for the practice of democratic self-government that so many people have developed strong rooting interests in elections in countries they don’t live in.
7
7
1
311
9,340
The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸 retweeted
Hillary Clinton
@HillaryClinton26 Oct 2016
Happy birthday to this future president.
38,658
58,055
49,900
133,088
Matthew Yglesias
@mattyglesiasOct 26
Earnest take: I think it’s probably not healthy for the practice of democratic self-government that so many people have developed strong rooting interests in elections in countries they don’t live in.
1
14
506
The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸 retweeted
Whitey@Whitey_83Oct 25
Got scared at the pumpkin patch
Oilfield Rando
@Oilfield_RandoOct 25
Went to a pumpkin patch in a bigger town. 200 million deportations. Minimum.
56
1,231
6
43,274
414,762
The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸 retweeted
Eric Allen Hatch@ericallenhatchOct 25
when a Twin Peaks character thinks they know what year it is
3
142
2
2,833
32,536
Load more