Tim Evans

It’s easy to see why everyone is mad at you.

🎵 Did you have to, did you have to, did you have to let it lingerie 🎵

Does the Warner Bros deal include the sister? You’d like her if you kissed her.

Never doubted the credibility of the FIFA Peace Prize before today.

Heresy? How about this Christmas we think about Hisery?

You’re telling me this ham was fisted?

Dreamt I was eating raspberry nicotine. Woke up disappointed there was none stuck in my teeth.

anyone find out what IS in the teaches of Peaches?

Beginning to the think the song “Rocket Man” isn’t really about a rocket man?

I didn’t start a company until 30. I didn’t get married until I was 37. I didn’t become a father until 39. I failed at all of them. I waited too long. There is such a thing as too late.

Nothing better than hitting “notify anyway” on an unworthy message.

The best thing you can say is “don’t over think it” because dumb people will think “yeh” and smart people will think the same.

If the pommel horse breaks a leg at the Olympics that Turkish guy shoots it.

Nice to think Charles and Diana will be together soon 💕

Often within a few minutes of my wife falling asleep I’ll be putting cotton buds in my ear.

SMDH 2024 has got the whole world making fun of a dead cripple on a pedophile island.

Of course I’ve read The Silmarillion. It’s where the hobbits all become silmarillionaires, right?

How to spot a narcissist: they read a lot of how to spot a narcissist articles.

Three stages of life. 1. “Seinfeld is better than friends” 2. “Both shows have merit” 3. “Seinfeld is better than friends”

At some point the government would’ve forced the Manhattan Project to move from Slack to MS Teams.