You don’t know me.... Recent tweets: https://nitter.gq/t.co/wcRVxKeO58
Joined February 2020
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VodkaAndStringCheese retweeted
I hope this email finds you looking kinda dumb with your finger and your thumb in the shape of an L on your forehead.
Nobody should be surprised that the older millennial humans being cheated on can do deep dives that will blow minds and marriages. We were the generation that pivoted from following endless encyclopedia rabbit holes into the vast transition of the Inter-webs
VodkaAndStringCheese retweeted
road tripping with my 13 year old and he asked me what’s Hooters and I panicked and told him it’s a scholarship program
VodkaAndStringCheese retweeted
Every night I enjoy playing a fun game called, was that just a leg cramp or a fatal blood clot
VodkaAndStringCheese retweeted
Mood - avoiding getting my nails done because manicure has the word "man" in it.
VodkaAndStringCheese retweeted
My 4yo wants a younger sibling. I keep telling her no. 4 kids is enough. She keeps trying to convince me. Today she said, "you can make this one an outside baby." Like, the baby only lives outside. She's getting really good at this. I can maybe go for an outside baby, maybe.
VodkaAndStringCheese retweeted
This whole “back in the office” thing is putting a major damper on my day drinking regimen.
VodkaAndStringCheese retweeted
Did you start your morning with an Advil shot and a Tums chaser or are you in your 20s?