your other mom (@difficultpatty) | teapawt

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@difficultpatty2 Oct 2022

I haven’t licked an envelope in over two decades without thinking of George Costanza.

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@difficultpatty16m

I love it when people who are newly married post tips about marriage.

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@difficultpatty2h

Crossing your legs while sneezing counts as cardio.

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@difficultpatty2h

[First date] Me: Tell me about your life insurance policy.

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@difficultpattyOct 22

If you enjoy weird smells, teaching might be for you.

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your other mom retweeted

erica@ericanextdooorOct 22

breakfast sandwiches are the closest you get to god

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@difficultpattyOct 22

Thank you for your passive aggressive comment. I loved it so much.

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@difficultpattyOct 21

Shrodingers deodorant.

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@difficultpattyOct 21

“Remove bread and let cool for 1-2 hours.” Hahahaha NEVER.

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@difficultpattyOct 20

So rude that again I am overlooked to perform the Super Bowl halftime show.

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@gullyvuhrOct 19

why would i only panic at the disco?

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@difficultpattyOct 20

I ate a sandwich tonight and thought you guys should know.

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@WilliamAderOct 19

"Are we having fun, yeti?" - mountain climber in Nepal

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@difficultpattyOct 19

One day you’re young and fun and the next you are excited to be in bed by 9pm.

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Thrilla the Gorilla

@ThrillaRilla369Oct 19

Just watched a video of a grown woman saying “Like so many of us I grew up watching The Price is Right with Drew Cary” and my bones turned to ash and blew away.

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Diana@PracticalBedlamOct 18

I thrifted a pair of corduroy pants today, specifically so I can vttt vttt vttt everywhere I walk.

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@difficultpattyOct 18

Saw the first Christmas decorations up in my neighborhood. Stop rushing me.

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@difficultpattyOct 18

Might mix things up and ask my doctor how many drinks he has per week.

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@RoaringKittyOct 17

I refuse to order a Tesla Roadster until they explain what happens to the drinks in the cupholders when the car flips.

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@difficultpattyOct 18

I only turn off my location so no one can see when I go to Taco Bell.

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Trey@treydaywayOct 17

I need to report someone for just eating one chip and stopping

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