BECKNINE

A lot of people don’t know this, but if you say “nuclear weapons” into a mirror three times, you can ignore every lesson of history—the corruption and incompetence of the Western intel apparatus, the failure of Middle East military interventionism (Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria, Ukraine), the cost in lives and money of failed wars based on lies—and you magically won’t have to deal with any of the consequences. I mean sure—Western interventionism in Iran in the 1950s, or Vietnam in the 1960s, or Iran again in the 1970s, or Iran again in the 1980s but this time with drug cartels, or Iraq and Bosnia in the 1990s, or Iraq and Afghanistan in the 2000s, or still Iraq and Afghanistan in the 2010s plus Libya and the whole moronic Arab Spring thing, or Ukraine in the 2020s—those were disasters that cost trillions of dollars and countless lives. And yes, our military-intel-industrial complex lied about Vietnam, and killed Kennedy, and ran a coup against Nixon, and then killed another Kennedy, and tried to get MLK Jr. to kill himself, and ran drugs all throughout the Americas to fund shenanigans in the Middle East, and funded bin Laden and the Taliban, and missed 9/11, and lied about Iraq WMD, and got an ambassador murdered in Benghazi, and turned Libya into slave market run by terrorists, and created ISIS, and ran the Russian collusion hoax, and tried to overthrow Trump with the Ukraine hoax, and weaponized a bat virus that killed millions of people and lied about it, and used the virus they made to steal an election, and arrested Trump, and tried to bankrupt him, and tried to make him die in prison, and when that failed denied him adequate security leading to him being shot in the head. Yes, they said and did all those things. But you can trust them now. Because if you just say “nuclear weapons,” all of that history goes away and the war they’re demanding will be totally awesome with no downsides.