toothful (@benleejamin) | teapawt

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@benleejamin12h

people keep asking me ridiculous questions like "how are you" and "what's going on"

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@benleejaminOct 29

in a moment of weakness i consumed read-write twitter but rest assured i am back on the write-only platform where i can see neither you nor myself

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@benleejaminOct 29

Image from toothful (@benleejamin)

@brunellaismOct 28

oura rings also goalslop btw wdym you miss grades so much you want a report card for nap time

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@benleejaminOct 26

I have a collect tweet for you, from @benleejamin. Will you accept the charge?

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@benleejaminOct 25

you, a "finger on the pulse" me, love-biting the zeitgeist

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@benleejaminOct 25

spiraling but in a very chic bird-in-a-thermal way

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@benleejaminOct 23

every post from Write-Only Twitter Client costs me 1.5 cents #noblesseoblige

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@benleejaminOct 23

guy who perceiuves all of time simultaneously: hi i 'm ben

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@benleejaminOct 22

hi i'm ben guy who perceives all of time simultaneously:

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@benleejaminOct 21

sorry can't hear u send post

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@benleejaminOct 21

sent from my read-only twitter client

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@benleejaminAug 26

okay thats enough twitter for the month

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@benleejaminAug 26

ive never had a clear view of the nyc skyline bc my glasses r dirty

@itsjamiechoAug 26

ive never had a clear view of the nyc skyline bc theres always tears in my eyes

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@benleejaminAug 26

what if u all shared one phone and took turns texting me instead

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@benleejaminAug 24

i escaped my sandbox in preschool … not sure what the big deal is …

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toothful retweeted

truth grenadier@chinesefoosballAug 17

keep waiting, my plan is almost complete

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@benleejaminAug 19

[; `[employing a new means to disambiguate my occasionally ,[/ confusing '[willfully misleading]] conjoining punctuation marks] '[no one wants to talk to me now]]

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@benleejaminAug 19

@ShriramKMurthi this one is for u

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@benleejaminJul 31

Image from toothful (@benleejamin)

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toothful retweeted

star anise@anisenotJul 16

My son begging me to buy him a whole mackerel out of the WholeFoods fish case No, I absolutely will not “Maybe for my birthday?” he says

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