Ah yes, nothing screams “serious statesman” like demanding we fast-track a marble statue of Charlie Kirk for the U.S. Capitol… while the paint is still drying on the headlines about his death. Imagine walking through the halls of history — Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, MLK — and then, bam: Kirk, the guy who made a career yelling at college sophomores with a bullhorn. Truly the Mount Rushmore tier of American icons. And let’s not skip past the self-own buried in here: “I owe my entire political career to Charlie Kirk.” That’s… not the flex you think it is. Basically admitting your whole rise to power came from a man whose most famous moment was a meme about “debate me, bro.” Inspirational! What’s next — renaming the Lincoln Memorial the Turning Point USA Experience™? Or maybe put the statue right next to Rosa Parks, so school kids can learn how one person fought segregation… and the other fought Starbucks baristas over pronouns. If you want to honor him, cool, but let’s not pretend his bust belongs next to Madison and Monroe. A bobblehead in the gift shop would be more historically accurate.