@johnkensil

https://xitter.cf/t.co/cj3DLGdBVn

 Fistin your face, Anytown USA
johnkensilcomedy.com/
Joined June 2009
  • Tweets84.4K
  • Following1.9K
  • Followers2.4K
34.3KMedia
The vet said if my cat gets any fatter, he’s he’s going to have to be baptized at the Camden County aquarium Cats get baptized, right? (see I’m new to this whole feline thingamabob and what not)
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RIP #walterkoenig #StarTrek
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John F Kensil retweeted
Johnny Midnight ⚡️
@its_The_Dr22h
Ai is out of Control 😂🤣
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John F Kensil retweeted
John F Kensil@johnkensilOct 24
Don’t stay at The McGonigal Arms down by the docks They charged me for a porno film I didn’t watch I mean I never saw “Honk Kong Gooey”
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I was on Alabama’s got talent Doing my Comedy routine I lost my virginity at a school function Unfortunately, it was the mother Son Dance !!!” And then I pulled out my banjo and played it with my feet The host said that I was too funny
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They had to wait days for the fella to pass the earrings then they were cleaned & resold Husband “here are the Tiffany earrings” Wife “why do the smell like Joey Chestnut’s underwear?” Husband “how do you know what Joey Chestnut’s underwear smells like?” Wife “it was a guess”
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Growing Up Retro
@GrowingUpRetroOct 23
FINISH THE SENTENCE: The one thing you could buy at the corner store in the ’80s that kids today are missing out on is ________.
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Don’t stay at The McGonigal Arms down by the docks They charged me for a porno film I didn’t watch I mean I never saw “Honk Kong Gooey”
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Me when I get the check
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This scene is so perfect in every way. The twins are cold-blooded killers. Doing this in broad daylight in a grocery store parking lot, killing a pedestrian just for looking at him. The slow walking toward hank, the twin not finishing hank with the gun because it was "too easy" is when you know you're insane
Kalshi Film
@Kalshi_FilmOct 22
What movie has the greatest action scene of all time?
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Neighbors have replaced their lawn with Astroturf so far two mail men and a Yorkshire terrier blew their knees out on it
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On October 22, 1992, Dan Castellaneta made a guest appearance on NBC's "L.A. Law", playing David Champion, a fired theme park employee who wore a Homer Simpson costume. #TheSimpsonsGoats #TheSimpsons #SimpsonsForever
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#Monicalewinsky has a book coming out about people who have had sex acts named after them So far It’s her Larry Blumpkin And Melvin Teabagger
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It’s a regular hoagie Only it’s made with CK1 And it has IROC tire marks on it
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My favorite BBC shows
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Saturday Night Fever and Grease
GR44
@GRCinemaTicketOct 21
Can you name a John Turturro movie you like ??
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I was watching an early appearance by #Seinfeld on #JohnnyCarson and talk about politically incorrect Seinfeld said “ we all know where glitter comes from… Ground up dead midgets!”
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A bunch of fat protesters knocked over the Capn’ Crunch statue for his supposed mistreatment of the crunchberry beast
🤖 Made with AI
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Dan Patrick Show
@dpshowOct 20
More excited for:
67%U2 Thanksgiving eve
33%Jay-Z Super bowl
1,627 votes • Final results
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