Matt Dekker (@killablebodied) profile picture

Matt Dekker

@killablebodied

Ratchet and Cranky

 London, England
Joined January 2018
  • Tweets27
  • Following32
  • Followers8
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Photo by Matt Dekker (@killablebodied)
Kanye really just put a rapist on a gospel album. I didn't know he was catholic
Some quirky space haikus inspired by the Eloquence of Elon Musk (1/3) Please deliver us That sweet alien pussy Elon, our one hope
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A large turd floats out The filthy broken toilet, Caresses my face
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Darkness enshrouds all Why is there a red Tesla? I don't want to die
If you knew me 5 minutes ago you don't know me now
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Matt Dekker retweeted
m@thew (@TweetPotato314) profile picture
m@thew@TweetPotato31423 Nov 2020
me: hi my name is matt and i’m an alcoholic AAA: sir this is triple A me: i know i’m explaining why my car’s in the lake
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Democrats: wants Biden to win Republicans: wants Trump to win Me: wants to turn America into a monarchy and make Dolly Parton the queen
Last night my mum walked in on me staring angrily out the window in my underwear while eating a bowl of low calorie ice cream and honestly I feel violated
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Goddamn liberal shithippies
I don't think my mum's homophobic but I've seen her laugh at the word lesbian
If you say 'I'm gay' 3 times into a mirror Kevin Hart appears and smashes a dollhouse over your head
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When you cross ICE with SS you get ICE-S
Reagan more like gay king
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I don't know why they call the Cold War cold. I think Reagan is #hot
Just been called into the office to be told that British Milk Council are shutting down all social channels. I'm out of a job. Something about misuse of data higher up. Fuck that. I've changed the password and they're not having the account back.
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If you aren't gay for Bowser are you even gay?
BRAIN: HEY ME: AHHH what BRAIN: ME: BRAIN: in 2005 the feature film Pooh’s Heffalump Movie was released in theaters. it is 68 minutes long. ME: oh brother, again with the fucking heffalump fact
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Does lifting your leg to take a piss make you a dog?
Does anyone know how to exorcise a Dorito?
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