Wife. Mother. Washer of dishes. Some other less important things. Author, The Sunshine Principle. “Awake, O sleeper…”
Joined April 2022
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30 years of marriage. Thanks be to God! Jesus, we are yours. Hold us in your tender gaze. Teach us to love well and with heroic virtue. Keep our children and grandchildren close to you always. Plant us deeply so that generations will grow strong even as we fade.
Melody Lyons retweeted
26 years a priest and I wholeheartedly agree with this. I do not require details in order to see when a soul is hurting and have always referred when prudent to women I know well.
This is helpful
I remember reading “Angela’s Ashes” years before I was a priest, and clocking the dangers of a confessor asking the wrong questions around sins against chastity. Grave harm can occur.
In seminary we were taught a good technique on seeking clarity around a sin which is vaguely alluded to. Exaggerate in such a wild way that the penitent corrects the assumption with relief:
“I accuse myself of theft.”
- “You mean you were involved in that armed robbery in last week’s headlines?”
Except when it comes to the sixth commandment. Then, if clarity is required (a big if — it often is not required), we were taught to exaggerate in the opposite direction.
“I sinned against the sixth commandment.”
- “You mean you had impure thoughts?”
Thank you for posting a provocative post that attracts personal attacks and insults but which helps people discern and grow. Shows a great spirit of service.
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This might be helpful context for my post. We need to talk to our kids about confessional boundaries. Also never spiritual direction for children. And other thoughts on spiritual direction. Likely unpopular.
melodylyons.substack.com/p/s…
A priest should never discuss the details of sexual sin with a woman. Hear the confession and be silent. And never in spiritual direction. If she asks for counsel, refer her to a female. More emphatic NO for minor girls.
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We should discuss boundaries with our children and also adults. I do not propose muzzling priests when they need to assist a penitent. But inquiry into the details of sexual activity or history is not appropriate. This is for the protection of the priest as well as the penitent.
My post is ordered for the protection of both priest and laity. Modesty and propriety. Never a hint of titillation. No possibility of grooming.The Church is on my side. I didn't read your whole post but I hope we agree that our daughters should not have to talk sex with Father.
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Melody Lyons retweeted
To the point in your OP, if someone said "I was impure" I usually ask, as clinically as possible, "with yourself or with another". Asking anything beyond that is situation-dependent, especially if it's a woman. A priest needs to avoid all even appearance of titillation.
Melody Lyons retweeted
It is my firm conviction that absolutely nothing good comes of a priest, asking details to a woman confessing sexual sins. There’s no value in it and nothing good comes of it.
God needs an awareness of their sin, a contrary heart and a trust in his Mercy
That’s it
A priest should never discuss the details of sexual sin with a woman. Hear the confession and be silent. And never in spiritual direction. If she asks for counsel, refer her to a female. More emphatic NO for minor girls.
I don’t think I’ve met a firefighter who wouldn’t give his life for me. Even the ones without any faith or who struggle with virtue. Their courage seems sharpened by humility in 3 ways:
1) Habit of going toward fire
2) Caring for the vulnerable
3) Consoling the grieving
The vulnerable in your community are largely neglected. Pay attention. The sick, the disabled, the elderly, the grieving, the impoverished, the lonely. Where are you, Christian? Online giving money to celebrities.
We'll also keep vigil with a dying loved one today. Encountering death is the ultimate "touching grass." In light of the drama in the Catholic sphere this week, I beg you to turn away from distant celebrity and turn toward the sick, disabled, poor,and the dying who belong to you.
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Melody Lyons retweeted
If you’re not instilling hope in your circle of influence, whether big or small, you’re probably batting for the wrong team whether you know it or not.
A local firefighter is being laid to rest today after offering his life in the line of duty. We stood with our neighbors as the funeral procession passed. We watched the funeral online and saw the Gospel proclaimed. God is good. People are good. Jesus, provide for his family.
Melody Lyons retweeted
You got punked by Bug Hall. He knew you’d give more. How about the poor families in your own community with big families? How about the sick & disabled? You’ve all gone mad. Go home and give to the needy in your parish, not famous able-bodied shysters. He’s got wealthy friends.
Melody Lyons retweeted
If you donated to Bug Hall, I just would like to know... when was the last time you helped out a struggling working class family at your own church?
People want to talk about society being anti-natalist, but many Christians aren't around when our own community members need us.
Melody Lyons retweeted
Some things are beyond ridiculous-
We have used gofundme to supplement our income for 2.5 years, due to fluctuations in workers comp payment percentages, and a battle with two separate insurance companies.
My husband is permanently disabled. He will never work again.
In less than one day an able-bodied man, who has voluntarily chosen to impoverish himself, has raised half of what I’ve raised over the course of 2.5 years on Gofundme,
Absolutely shameful - I agonize every month when I have to ask for help. It’s embarrassing and a little bit of me dies inside, I am utterly mortified that this has gone on so long-
And this man, who could immediately change his life with the snap of a finger just chooses not to work.
Unbelievable, really.
It’s pretty common for true narcissists to refuse to work anything but their preferred jobs and use religion as a cover for their indulgence. Definitely a type.
He won’t get a job but he’ll take your money that you worked at a job to get. He wants you to pay for his phone that he uses to harass and lie about people online. NO. Emphatically. Short term get help from your parish. But asap get a job like every good man I know.
‘Little Rascals’ star resorts to GoFundMe ahead of having 6th child: ‘I really need some help’ trib.al/2qGNkTK
Melody Lyons retweeted
This was inexcusable. Even if you oppose the war, refusing to unequivocally denounce the IRGC and deflecting to attack the country you want to serve is inexcusable, disqualifying, and tells you all you need to know about this dark-triad Islamist plant.
Narcissism loves religion. It gets to be righteous. It gets to claim alliance with the perfection of God. It will be praised. It will be obeyed. It can abuse and be forgiven. All evil is inherently religious.
