@mentalpause1

The glass is half-full AND half-empty. I can be in 2 places at the same time. This rabbit hole never ends

 Surfside
Joined August 2018
  • Tweets68.3K
  • Following1.5K
  • Followers4.1K
703Media
Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Cat From Nowhere
@kv8Oct 27
They're saying stock up on everything, which got me thinking. I need another Cat.
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Nobody's coming to save you, but somebody is definitely coming to explain it to you
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Alicia says Boo! 🔪@AliciaAgain4Oct 27
The devil said dance and she did.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
CoCo@unhingebingeOct 27
I might explode if I don't say stupid things on the internet.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
CoCo@unhingebinge15h
The scariest part of halloween is the rising price.
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CoCo@unhingebingeOct 17
There's no place like bed.
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CoCo@unhingebingeOct 26
You look like you use your pinky finger to unlock your phone. You fancy little frangipani.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
David 🎃@DBStoner21h
You live by the hoard, you die by the hoard.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
liaa@_provisionalllOct 26
dating an ex again is called??
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
David 🎃@DBStonerOct 26
I have some awesome tweets in my drafts. But I'm saving those for Xmas. So today you get this.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
SciPi@SciPiHarveyOct 26
Please don’t put Almond Joys in my kids Halloween bucket…. I don’t eat those
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Am I the fucker or the fuckee in this scenario
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I guess I'm not going to become famous like I thought. Well, at least for a non-criminal reason. That's still in play.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
machine pun jelly👹@iamvkhil2Oct 26
boobs don't solve problems, but they do make you forget what the problem was.
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Romantic date ideas like scheduling dual colonoscopies
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I have Schrödinger’s temper - it is both there and not there until tested.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
liaa@_provisionalllOct 25
3 words better than “i love you"?
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Cat From Nowhere
@kv8Oct 25
Dedicating the rest of the evening to lying around, being statuesque and whatnot. wyd.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
CoCo@unhingebingeOct 25
Sometimes you have to let people go so they can find someone worse than you.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
𓅓@ufw_AnomalyOct 25
Seeing me irl is rare im mostly a concept
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