Teacher of REAL Healing

Okay I feel fine with this take now. I'm not mocking her tears. I cry often enough. But I'm so disappointed with the inability to grapple with the grotesque and surreal. If you can't grapple with ugliness and pain without melting down, how can you be trusted with anything worth protecting? nitter.gq/gaptoothdummy/status/2…

If you wish to marry an outlier, then the type of person you want to marry has likely organised their life to minimise unwanted attention from the opposite sex, making them near impossible to find, and even if found, largely unrecogniseable given how much they will conceal or otherwise downplay the full extent of their nature to blend in and go about their business unbothered. Outliers generally do not wish to be disturbed by others, value their autonomy, and do not like unvetted people they have not assessed and subsequently chosen having easy access to them. If you somehow acquire transient access to such a person, likely through an institution or by professional means, they will be guarded and conceal much of their true nature. Your task then is not merely one of access, but of recognition - how to recognise what you seek and be recognised by it, so that you can see the treasure that hides itself from you, and make it want to reveal itself to you in its recognition of you. Many men and women say certain types of desirable members of the opposite sex do not exist. They are right in the sense that these people do not exist for them, because those types of people would from a distance quietly reject them, and thus never make themselves available to them. But in the technical sense, they are wrong. What is rare and desirable is not non-existent, just guarded and inconspicuous.

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When I read older books, I'm always struck by how unoptimized they are. Books wandered in their prose, had meandering backstories for side characters, and had strange and illogical plot points. Now, it's like every word in a book has to be razor-focused, hurtling toward the conclusion. There's no room for idle dreaming.

Fully agreed! I dig reading books outside my lane, pick stuff I don’t fully understand, and choose authors way smarter than I am. Never thought I would dive into the stories of the early Roman empire, for example. I don’t prefer modern books. I don’t read for entertainment. IMO most modern authors don’t seem all that intelligent. I don’t respect their minds nor their work. Look at manga—the stories and characters are beyond mind–numbingly stupid. The best children’s books are not from this era.

You should read books that are: — Older than you — More difficult than you are used to — Written by people you disagree with — Outside your usual interests — Important enough to reread — Uncomfortable to think about Reading should not always be easy. Sometimes the books that require the most effort are the ones that change how you think. If you only read things you already understand and agree with, you are not learning very much.