🇺🇸 I post nonsense and somehow people keep coming back 🇺🇸.
Joined August 2026
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Mr Stuff retweeted
Our seven-year-old neighbour knocked on my door with a clipboard and announced that he ran a "home security company." His rate was $5 a week. I said yes mostly to be kind, and I forgot about it by dinner. On Friday morning, he rang the bell again, handed me a folded paper, and said, "Here's your report." I opened it, and my smile slowly disappeared...
Mr Stuff retweeted
Dirty talk according to guys:
- "You like that?" forty times
- Porn lines word for word
- Total silence, then one random "yeah"
Dirty talk according to girls:
Mr Stuff retweeted
I don't want to shame any particular woman here, but publicly announcing that the #RussellBrand conviction must be wrong because you went home with him and he didn't rape you makes about as much sense as saying 'well, I left 25 Cromwell Street alive, so Fred West's innocent.'
Mr Stuff retweeted
CNN was scheduled to be today’s TV pool. But the White House blocked us from being allowed in for the president’s event in the Oval Office that’s now underway. That means none of the five networks will have audio or video of his remarks.
Mr Stuff retweeted
Fvcked in front of my two friends for a week straight on vacation
Few months ago myself 24F, my two close girl friends of the same age and my boyfriend 25M all went together on a vacation. To save money we all decided to stay in one room, it was like an all inclusive resort type of vacation so we didn’t care too much about being in our room.
Fast forward two days and I’m really fvcking horny and we had no moment to ourselves to fuck without my friends seeing. So finally as everyone was falling asleep on the second night my boyfriend and I had a quickie, just light sideways fvck under cover, didn’t think the girls heard. In the morning I woke up supper early, woke my bf with a blowjob and then when he woke up I rode him, gently and quietly while staying under covers, didn’t think the girls heard.
So to my surprise during our breakfast together girls were like yeah we can hear you fucking last night and today. We profusely apologized but they were like lol relax and then added that we are there for another week so if we want to stop hiding and just fuck in the open in our room they won’t pay any attention to it.
I didn’t realize in the moment but in hindsight that was a huge turn on for my bf. We started of easy, same as before, for few days quiet sex after presumed sleep time and before ppl woke. Then on like a fifth day we went out and got quite tipsy which got me and my boyfriend really horny. In our room we started making out as girls were getting ready for sleep and one thing led to an other I was keeping eye contact with two of my friends as I had a dick in me. They observed me for a bit without a word and then went on with their evening routine accompanied by my moans. After sex I just passed out.
Next morning hangxiety hit like a truck and I was convinced by friends hated me. However this feeling was shattered when I, and my boyfriend, noticed how both of my friends woke up and got up completely topless. They addressed our speechless looks by saying if we aren’t being prudes then why should they. After this clothes became super optional in our room, only one who really wore anything was my boyfriend and it was just mainly underwear, three of us girls just went full nudist.
Rest of the trip was a bliss. Me and my boyfriend would fuck in the open whenever, my friends would do themselves while we did, not always but few times and it was so hot. They would also would tease the shit out of my boyfriend, with my blessing of course, for example they would bend over flashing their pussy at him, or would fall onto his lap while completely naked.
Mr Stuff retweeted
CANCER RARELY STARTS WITH AGONIZING PAIN. IT USUALLY STARTS WITH A MINOR INCONVENIENCE YOU DECIDE TO IGNORE.
HERE ARE 10 EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF COMMON CANCERS YOU SHOULD NEVER BRUSH OFF.
1. COLON CANCER = BLOOD IN YOUR STOOL.
Mr Stuff retweeted
أبوي فتح لي حساب لزواجي يوم كان عمري 5 سنين.
كل شهر يحط فيه 300.
وكان يقول: «عشان ليلة زواجك، ما تحتاجين أحد.»
23 سنة.
82,800.
في رمضان اللي فات انخطبت، وحددنا موعد الزواج.
رحت للبنك أطلع المبلغ.
الموظفة طالعت في الشاشة، وسكتت شوي، وبعدين قالت:
«الرصيد 4,800.»
قلت أكيد فيه غلط.
ما كان فيه غلط.
طبعت لي كشف الحساب.
أمي كانت شريكة في الحساب من سنين.
وسحوبات متفرقة طول ثمان سنوات: 5 آلاف، 12 ألف، 20 ألف.
وأغلبها قبل بداية الدراسة، وقبل رمضان.
رحت لها، والورقة في يدي.
ما دافعت عن نفسها.
قامت، وفتحت درج الدولاب، وطلّعت دفتر صغير، نفس الدفتر اللي كانت تكتب فيه مقاضي البيت.
كل سحبة لها سطر:
Mr Stuff retweeted
Some news: I’m joining OpenAI to lead product management for Core Products!
I have a lot of respect for OpenAI for showing the world that scaling works, for bringing AI to over a billion people, and for believing great products are core to the mission.
I’m excited to work with @thsottiaux, an incredible PM team, and everyone across OpenAI. Together, we’ll build agents that have your back and your team’s, and keep you in control, so you get more time for the people and work you love.
Lots to learn, and lots to build. Please keep your feedback coming!
Mr Stuff retweeted
Cuando veas un tuit que te gusta o que creas que merece ser leído, le das a «copiar enlace» (no hace falta siquiera que luego lo pegues en ningún sitio).
El algoritmo entiende que ese tuit es interesante y es lo que cuenta ahora, mucho más que los me gusta, comentarios o retuits. 😊
Mr Stuff retweeted
Having sex in the 90s:
Man: I'm sexually attracted to you.
Woman: I'm attracted to you too.
Man: Wanna have sex?
Woman: Sure!
Having sex in 2026:
Mr Stuff retweeted
I want to buy my .com domain. Some dude registered it 18 years ago and never used it. Does anyone have experience with such things? How do I even reach out? I already wrote to the whois email.
Mr Stuff retweeted
La boda de mi amiga Inés fue en Sevilla.
Yo vivo en Valencia.
El tren y el hotel costaron 380 €.
El regalo en sobre fue de 150 €.
Inés: «Te he preparado 50 € para el viaje».
Yo: «¿Cómo?
Mr Stuff retweeted
The only thing that would sway my vote this election is six text messages from an unidentified number during my work day.
Mr Stuff retweeted
今日旦那が不倫旅行から帰ってくるんだけど、1通のLINE『今家いんの？』時たので、
家にいたけど、
娘と外に出てるって言ってみた。
数十分後にガチャっと家が開く音。
帰ってきたと思ったら・・・
Mr Stuff retweeted
You can cancel an election and ban the winner from running (Romania), you can ban your opponents from ever running again (Hungary), you can threaten to ban the main opposition party and subject it to relentless investigations by the secret police (Germany), you can threaten a ban on the leading presidential candidate and make them wear an ankle monitor (France), every member of your circle can be investigated for corruption (Spain), you can try and cancel local elections because you will lose them (Britain), and you can storm the constitutional court with riot police because you want to control it (Poland).
You can just do all these things. The secret is you just have to be on the right side of the European Commission.