I think everyone’s lost the plot with dating tbh You’re looking for home. That’s the only point of any of it. A flickering hearth, a bountiful table, a passion that will wax and wane as unalarmingly as the moon. Deciding to love a person ideally involves the same simple blend of logic + intuition that goes into choosing a place to live: you have a short list of what you absolutely need, some things that are nice to have, but mostly it comes down to if it feels immediately instinctively NICE. When you’re paying attention to how you feel that recognition comes pretty quickly imo. People overcomplicate it a lot, mostly by trying to look to others to figure out what they should care about.