“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” — Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

I’m reading this rather ominously and simultaneously, in two different ways that both agree and disagree with it. I agree with it in the sense that when I see how browbeaten men who have let their wives tyrannically seize authority in the household, in that I think if he was stricter and did not tolerate her disrespect, he would not be in such a situation. And I disagree with it in the sense I often see genuinely decent men trying their best going unappreciated for their efforts, being pecked, prodded and squawked at, whilst I see other men, who are much colder, immoral, unappreciative and arrogant and often even criminal adjacent if not outright criminally deviant, with an attractive, reverent well behaved woman who pours her heart out to him only to get mistreated by him. How do I resolve these disagreements? Simple. You get the wife you deserve in terms of dominance, but not in terms of morality. If you are a genuinely kind hearted man but you’re too soft and lenient, your woman will mistreat you. If you are an absolutely horrible man, even abusive, but you maintain discipline, your woman will treat you much better. I am not advocating that men do this nor encouraging it - I am merely making a social observation about the two most common kinds of dynamics I see in romantic relationships. I actually think mistreatment of one person by the other is common in most relationships - that one party in their liberty taking familiarity seemingly takes it upon themselves to exploit the other - a perversion of what true love is meant to be, which is to outdo one another at giving whilst protecting each other from the bad intentions of others, and the very worst aspects of yourselves.