Xopher (@xopherfoster) header
Xopher (@xopherfoster) profile picture

Xopher

@xopherfoster

Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die?

 Always and forever here
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets5.6K
  • Following122
  • Followers57
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Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)Photo by Xopher (@xopherfoster)
When I die & I can ask God any question Im gonna ask how many olympic sized pools I could fill with the piss I shake off my dick after I pee
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There should be a stats screen pop up when you die and show you stuff like how many times you thought it was a fart and shit yourself
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Xopher retweeted
wint (@dril) profile picture
wint
@dril11 Jan 2023
i think men should be allowed to get their dick Professionally Graded like a rare trading card and put a Badge on their profile if its good
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Xopher retweeted
wint (@dril) profile picture
wint
@dril10 Jan 2023
i think if dogs could talk they would have the most racist opinions in the world, stuff that just blows normal human racism out of the water
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It’s not the criticism that bothers you, it’s that they might be right.
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Xopher retweeted
wint (@dril) profile picture
wint
@dril4 Jan 2023
i invented saying "Oh Boy!" when something good happens
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Discipline comes from desire. If you lack discipline, you don’t want it as badly as you think.
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Xopher retweeted
wint (@dril) profile picture
wint
@dril27 Dec 2022
i hate it when i step into the office and my set up is not fully optimized for use with Microsoft Blow Job Simulator 2016
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Watching “It’s A Wonderful Life” and remembering the true meaning of Christmas.
Image from Dan White (@atdanwhite)
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Elongate Musket 🔫
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Hades???
ivy ruth 🎄🎄 (@BLOODSADx) profile pictureivy ruth 🎄🎄@BLOODSADx15 Dec 2022
i get actively mad when i can pet a dog in a video game now. it only reads to me as either the dev being cynical and doing it for meme marketing or theyre reddit. thats how terrible it is out here
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When we go to holiday parties my wife is personable and fun and I am fat
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projectile vomit implies the existence of hitscan vomit
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I can't be trusted to raise a kid. I haven't even figured out how to wipe without making my asshole bleed
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During sex: "This orgasm brought to you by BioNTech & Pfizer"
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Xopher retweeted
wint (@dril) profile picture
wint
@dril18 Nov 2022
HELP ELON!!ELON!! HELP! HELP! POST "DOG COIN"
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Like women's periods, if bipolar people spend time together their manic episodes sync
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Xopher retweeted
ret (@rad_milk) profile picture
ret@rad_milk10 Nov 2022
drug commercial: yeah this medicine is definitely going to give you diarrhea the people in the commercial:
Image from ret (@rad_milk)
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Nothing changes but the names,Brother HH
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If you voted and it doesn't go your way... remember that you can make far more impact by taking jury duty. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_n…

Jury nullification - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org
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