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Proficient in delinquency, desperate comic nerd, struggling Mariners fan đź”±

Joined December 2013
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If a kid ever asks me “what’s it like to be an adult” I’m gonna tell them “it’s amazing” just so they are as blindsided as I was
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having a touchtunes account is one of the first signs of alcoholism
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Been watching too many @Cappyarmy videos, a drone just went over my head and I about shit my pants
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So @katy4congress has spent her entire campaign falsely claiming @TheAKGuy is anti-veteran, only to turn around and get endorsed by arguably the most anti-veteran celebrity of all time. At this point, she’s openly mocking the intelligence of her own supporters.
It’s absolutely no surprise that @katy4congress would be endorsed by the most anti-veteran celebrity imaginable, Jane Fonda. There’s only one candidate on the ballot with a plan to help veterans, and it’s not the one campaigning with Hanoi Jane
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If this ain’t the pot calling the kettle black
ethan klein can fuck all the way off
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My past self would be so proud of what I do with my adult money
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Shout out @Fat_Electrician for the photo
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I’ve been shitting on Social Security for years now, and every single time, I’m told ad fucking nauseam: “It’s MY money! I paid into it!” Really? Then why would we need to raise taxes on everyone else just to give you “your” money? Because it’s NOT your money. Your money was spent almost as soon as it came in. Today’s workers are paying for yesterday’s retirees. It’s a massive, government run Ponzi scheme. And now, one of the largest generations in American history is collecting benefits. In a traditional Ponzi scheme, this is where everything implodes: when there aren’t enough new investors coming in to pay off the old ones. But there’s one crucial difference. This one is backed by the federal government. And when there aren’t enough new people paying into the system, the government has something Bernie Madoff never had: The power to force the next generation to pay more, at gunpoint. Exactly like I’ve been saying for years.
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Replying to @TheeBrandi
Pvt. Francheska Velez, she was pregnant and one of Hassan’s victims. Her last words were “my baby, my baby!” Fuck him and fuck you for trying to garner sympathy for that evil monster.
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And he did neither
This quoted post is unavailable.
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Y’all ever think about the fact that the Kardashian with the least amount of work done is probably Caitlin Jenner
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For normal people the gauntlet is almost useless cause you’d almost certainly die after 1 use. Even if you only use 1 stone at a time it took all the guardians to hold 1 without dying including Quill who was literally 1/2 celestial amongst other much highly durable people
You get One permanently. Which one are you taking?
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"Lanterns finale was ass"
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This conversation is so weird to me cause it’s my personal belief that it’s between them and their wives. Is Miller’s wife wants him there with her that’s where he should be, if Fried’s wife said “no go play” I understand him not being there
Mason Miller and Max Fried have kids due imminently. Miller takes paternity leave and ditches the Padres. Fried stays with Yankees and ditches his wife. What do you think is the right call? As a dad of two, both via emergency C-section (put under), I think Fried is selfish.
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Drank a sprite and it didn’t cure my sickness what the fuck did they do to sprite
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Me and my 9 games
Me and the 9 games that shaped me 💚🫶🏼
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We may not have real 4loko anymore but have you ever put a scoop of preworkout in a cutwater?
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yes
If you drug a woman and rape her, the only acceptable penalty is death.
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You can’t convince me that my playlist ain’t the most diverse collection of music
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The urge to tweet my thoughts while also fighting the urge to keep to myself
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