Ayn Rand's Dog

A heartfelt thank-you to John Thune and Mike Johnson for transforming a Republican governing majority into the world's most expensive congressional spectator sport. Americans handed these geniuses the White House, Senate, and House, expecting an America First revolution. Two years later, their signature achievement is demonstrating how much taxpayer money you can burn while accomplishing jack shit. Thune deserves a standing ovation. The SAVE America Act couldn't clear the filibuster. Then, even if it could, he supposedly lacked the votes. Extraordinary leadership! Apparently, the Senate Majority Leader's primary responsibility is explaining why the majority can't lead. Someone get this man a commemorative plaque engraved with “We Tried Nothing, and We're All Out of Ideas.” Johnson brought equally impressive fiscal discipline. DOGE identified enormous opportunities to eliminate waste, yet the spending machine kept humming while Republicans delivered passionate speeches about the national debt. Apparently, fiscal conservatism is a sacred principle that must never be endangered by actually cutting fucking spending. Meanwhile, federal judges obstructed Trump's immigration agenda while congressional Republicans perfected the ancient legislative art of sitting on their asses and hoping the problem would resolve itself. And Trump? He hired himself out to the American people as Washington's demolition contractor, then spent far too much time watching his own congressional crew admire the wrecking ball without swinging it. The president owns his share of this magnificent clusterfuck. Every excuse made the next failure easier. Every abandoned promise made the majority less valuable. Eventually, Republicans managed to convert unified control of Washington into a midterm catastrophe, leaving Democrats positioned to pursue the investigations, subpoenas, and political warfare they've been itching to unleash. What a breathtaking performance. Democrats spent years trying to defeat the America First agenda. Thune, Johnson, and Trump's Republican leadership accomplished something even more impressive: they helped squander its governing opportunity from the inside. The DNC ought to send them fucking thank-you cards. Democrats couldn't have purchased better congressional assistance with a billion-dollar campaign budget. (article below)