Angry Neighbor retweeted
Do you, Karen, take David the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?
Angry Neighbor retweeted
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
Angry Neighbor retweeted
[Giraffes at gym]
"What do you want to work on today?"
Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before.
"So...neck day again"
You bet
Angry Neighbor retweeted
Kid: WAAAHH! MY TOY IS BROKEN!!
Dad: Nothing a little duct tape won't fix...
Kid: mfflr..frrrr..strnnn
Angry Neighbor retweeted
How to eat French fries:
1) Eat all the good ones.
2) Leave the yucky ones and feel superior.
3) Wait 5 minutes.
4) Eat all the yucky ones.
Angry Neighbor retweeted
Why is it that my dog's shit takes twice as long to come out of her ass when she's going on a neighbor's lawn?
Angry Neighbor retweeted
Life is a test and all I have are #1 pencils.
Angry Neighbor retweeted
Hey fellas what's that called when your wife wakes up horny?
Never. It's called never.
Angry Neighbor retweeted
A new study indicates that women should avoid attractive men because attractive men are selfish**
**Study funded by a group of ugly men
Angry Neighbor retweeted
What do you mean, "I need space," are you okay oh my god do you need me to come over and bring space


















