Not Batman’s Dad (@NotBatmans) header
Not Batman’s Dad (@NotBatmans) profile picture

Not Batman’s Dad

@NotBatmans

Jesus turns water into wine, I turn catalytic converters into cash.

Joined April 2022
  • Tweets8.6K
  • Following2.3K
  • Followers769
166Media
Photo by Not Batman’s Dad (@NotBatmans)Photo by Not Batman’s Dad (@NotBatmans)Photo by Not Batman’s Dad (@NotBatmans)Photo by Not Batman’s Dad (@NotBatmans)
Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Helen (@HelenfegusonogG) profile picture
Helen@HelenfegusonogG14h
I’ve never had a Muslim tell me what I can and can’t do. But Christians have been telling me what I can and can’t do my entire fucking life.
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
FireFighterDev (@fire_starter457) profile picture
FireFighterDev
@fire_starter45718h
I've never had a Muslim try to force me to follow Sharia law. But I have had Christian nationalists spend my entire fucking life trying to make their Bible my problem.
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
alex brasky (@alexbrasky) profile picture
alex brasky
@alexbraskyNov 2
every time harrison butker misses a field goal a woman becomes neurosurgeon
NFL (@NFL) profile pictureNFL
@NFLNov 2
The kick is no good and the Broncos will take over down 3 👀 KCvsDEN on CBS/Paramount+ Stream on @NFLPlus
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
inner excellence fan (@roidsux) profile picture
inner excellence fan@roidsuxOct 29
sixers fans are forced to flex our ring every single day for 20 points and 5 turnovers 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Jimm (@jimmmsbond) profile pictureJimm@jimmmsbondOct 28
Replying to @big_business_
Who has the MVP trophies again?
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
mary (@elaine_stritch) profile picture
mary@elaine_stritchOct 29
me in the Criterion Closet: u guys got Sky High
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Chris Dokish (@ChrisDokish) profile picture
Chris Dokish
@ChrisDokishOct 26
I still can’t get my head around the fact that Pat McAfee thinks he’s important enough to be assassinated.
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Steve Lawson🍂 (@Steve_Lawson93) profile picture
Steve Lawson🍂
@Steve_Lawson93Oct 27
We as a country don't hate Pat McAfee enough
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Teigen (@JuddTL) profile picture
Teigen@JuddTLOct 26
Pat McAfee when he’s afraid he might get murdered
Image from Teigen (@JuddTL)
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Blake Spires (@RealFakeBlake) profile picture
Blake Spires@RealFakeBlakeOct 27
It’s so funny that every guy like Pat McAfee ends up being the most gigantic crybaby in history
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Doug Farrar ✍ (@NFL_DougFarrar) profile picture
Doug Farrar ✍
@NFL_DougFarrarOct 26
get his ass back in the kitchen
Josh Dubow (@JoshDubowAP) profile pictureJosh Dubow
@JoshDubowAPOct 26
Harrison Butker's 15 missed kicks (10 FGs, 5 PATs) since start of last season are the most in NFL.
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
aury🐞🚒 (@sandsadprose) profile picture
aury🐞🚒@sandsadproseOct 21
Il ritorno di glee è il più grande segnale che il mondo è in crisi perche nessuna mente sana approverebbe il suo ritorno
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
lei (@leilurrr) profile picture
lei@leilurrrOct 21
what is mamdani going to do about ryan murphy
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Ant (@GangOfCeltics) profile picture
Ant
@GangOfCelticsOct 20
Crazy how PG is the only player I was impressed by today. Literally Everyone else was a letdown. On to the next
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
soup🕷️ (@thrluv) profile picture
soup🕷️
@thrluvOct 18
“if you crave soda your body really needs hydration.” actually if i crave soda it’s because dr pepper makes my brain go “wheeeee!”
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
🗽🍻💍 (@Light_2610) profile picture
🗽🍻💍
@Light_2610Oct 18
This is definitely the funniest Giants team of my lifetime
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Brett Kollmann (@BrettKollmann) profile picture
Brett Kollmann
@BrettKollmannOct 18
Put aside Nine, become the Eighteen you were born to be.
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Giana Han (@giana_jade) profile picture
Giana Han@giana_jadeOct 18
Calais Campbell, 2019 Walter Payton Man of the Year, sacks quarterback who faced 27 suits of sexual misconduct and assault.
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
ThatsGoodSports (@BrandonPerna) profile picture
ThatsGoodSports
@BrandonPernaOct 18
Calais Campbell becomes the first 40 year old to sack pervert Deshaun Watson
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
Midtown Mike (@lostTobobbyflay) profile picture
Midtown Mike@lostTobobbyflayOct 18
Every game I think to myself what would the score be if Dart was the QB
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Not Batman’s Dad retweeted
connor (@ConnorEatsPants) profile picture
connor
@ConnorEatsPantsOct 14
Replying to @StephenM
Stephen, your ability to wake up every morning and not kill yourself is both impressive and disappointing
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