Polyphonic Pirate

I identify as a beaver that sells brisket

When the stove light is on at night you better not get a new cup or dirty a dish or that’s your ass

banger in the mist I reach toward the glowing screen algorithm says no

I’m workshopping some better names. Here’s what I have so far: The Chick Khalifa The Halalator The Shawarmageddon

DJ Khaled has refused to concede “the greatest”

People have no concept of how big Texas is or even Houston itself You can leave Houston and head West and drive for 12 hours and still be in Texas You can be in Houston 2 hours away from someone who is also in Houston

You ever get sick and start thinking about the good old days when you could just breathe and swallow whenever you wanted

Nothing has done more for AI adoption than people yelling at strangers for using AI

Thank you for demonstrating the mechanism in real time I promise I didn't pay this guy to prove my point

This is why I put all my house spiders through a 6-week outdoor survival "Alpha spider" course before relocation

Imagine spending 15 years becoming an exceptional software engineer only to discover that the biggest threat to your career is other people being able to build software

An Americano is what happens when drip coffee gets a humanities degree and studies abroad in Europe for a semester

LinkedIn is a self milking cow

I raise you avocado oil spray for biggest scam. They keep the size at 1/4 second so they can act like it has no calories. Is anyone seriously using 1/4 a second worth of this shit? Avocado oil has ~120 calories per Tbsp

You’re hired for competence and promoted for politics.

People need something new to be outraged about without facing the cognitive dissonance of their lives

I AGREE. Encourage your cows to jump in the water.

Hey lets get one thing straight Taco Belle has always given you diarrhea

The older I get, the less impressed I am with both myself and everyone else.