heidi

This was unexpectedly lovely from a fledgling, young indie filmmaker. If you have some time, it's really a great watch. I got weepy at the end. youtu.be/6CYCw7WSNNQ via @YouTube

I have this move down, except with the TV remote.

Follow me for more playlists. ;)

Had a mammogram today. Opened my gown. Tech took one look and immediately got a bigger part for the machine. It was a proud moment.

Started playing #Icarus. It's hard...like, really hard. What's with this perma-death thing? And bears that eat me in 3 hits. And let's talk about "accidentally" setting random people and huts on fire. A big part of me wants to go back to half-assing my way through #7Days.

Is lying on the couch during a conference call considered a nap? Asking for a friend.

Hey @CutbackCoach, thanks for helping me cut back to zero drinks & overcome my unhealthy #pandemic habit over the past 1.5 years. I also get very motivated when you text me back to tell me how many calories and $$ I saved by NOT drinking!

ATTENTION FRIENDS. I HAVE RECEIVED FIVE DOLLARS FROM CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY IN EXCHANGE FOR POSTING THIS ADVERTISEMENT. GET YOUR OWN FIVE DOLLARS AT WWW.GETFIVEDOLLARS.COM #GOTFIVEDOLLARS

It's Friday, maniacs and I'm officially fresh out of fucks. Thankfully I got my @lochers_paris shirt to make sure no one forgets it.

Someone finally wrote a book on clock fetishes. Well, it's about fucking time.

"I used to be an adventurer just like yourself, until I took an arrow to the head." @7DaystoDie ? Only took me 2.

I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things. #Shrinkage – at Illinois, USA

Me: Why don’t you love me? Him: I do love you! Me: You’re such a dumb ass.

In other news, I had to run an errand yesterday & wore an underwire bra for the first time in months. Not going to beat around the bush, but it ruined me. I have no idea how I suffered in them for so long. Shoes....shoes, too. Going back into the office is gonna suuuuuck.

Ever since I "casually" mentioned to @grmbachr about potential backyard sprinkler shenanigans happening today, I feel like his @Spotify playlists have been low-key targeting me. Not subtle, but into it. #BackyardBikini #SlipNSlide

Him: "I'm so sick of eating chicken for dinner." Me: "Cool. I can make yummy veggie burgers. Or Portabella burgers for dinner. Those would be awesome, don't you think?" Him: "That's OK, I can eat chicken." Nothing like putting the fear of veggies into him.... – at Illinois, USA

For the second day in a row, I noticed my local grandma, Peggy, who I'm friends with, pushing her granddaughter in a stroller, dog on a leash in one hand and a wine glass in the other hand. I'm like, uh it's 3:30, but, go, you. I'm also kinda jealous. #goals

State opens up from #COVID restrictions. Goes out unmasked in public for the first time in a year. Wakes up with a cold. Sounds about right.

Is it bad that I just tried to take a #belfie and my phone switched into panoramic mode? – at Illinois, USA

Oh #Chicago -- #MemorialDay weekend, heat on in the house. Seems about right.