This whole thing starts w accepting that u are not the person that u think u are / not the person that u want to be
Starts there
Need to accept that
And then u go
Fall above
Allows u to become that person
Weird paradox
Insane sync recently
Had an app idea last week
Messages around w it w Claude for a few hours, kind of dismissed it, maybe I’ll build it if I have time, wasn’t too excited
Didn’t talk to anyone about it, didn’t mention it, nothing at all
Yesterday, out of no where a buddy hits me up
“Yo I have cool app idea can u help me build it”
Lol
Sure let’s hear it
Proceeds to rant off the exact same app idea
Exact same idea, word for word
Bruh
I told him I had same idea last week
We exchange some idea back and forth
Now I am building app
Insane
Elaborating on why u expect good out of people
These people are evil (or inverted as yohami would say) because of something from their past
They act X way (evil) because someone or something did something to them in the past
Something happen to them in the past, so they thought they had to do X in order to feel good, or not feel bad
It is not their fault
It is the consequence of their upbringing / environment / something external / something bad that happen to them
So they are acting this way to protect something, or to not feel something bad
They are not doing it because they are evil
They are doing it because at some point they had to, or because they thought they had to, to survive, to feel good, to not feel bad
Whatever it is
So knowing that, these people really want to be good, they don’t want to do X, they want to do Y (good thing)
But they thought they couldn’t do Y, at some point in their past, for whatever reason
So if you expect Y, and show them that Y is okay, and don’t judge them for doing X, or understand why they are doing X, but lead them to Y / show them that Y is okay, more often than not they will do Y
And when they dont do Y, after repeated attempts of them showing them that Y is okay, okay cya, push out, not my problem to fix
But ya expect Y, lead to Y and most people will do Y, only if u come w understanding that they are doing X not because they want to, but because they are hiding / protecting something / thought they couldn’t do Y in the past
How to get the best out of people.
You initiate, them.
How.
You must EXPECT, ANTICIPATE, DESIRE, HOPE, DIRECT, anything good that you want to get from others.
Their best behavior must initiate in you.
In that regard, otherwise, screening, is passive. It's, first I want to see what they will do, to then me accommodate to reality.
Which is perfectly sane, still, weak, or, weaker, compared to masculine function.
Or, it's feminine function, below frame, let reality reveal itself, to then you know.
Nothing wrong with it. In principle.
However, people are ambivalent.
When you wait to see which cards they show, you are not dictating the rules of the game, so they will show you a variety of cards to see which game you want to play.
Which means eventually they show you, bad cards.
And then you, in your very wise screening pose, say, "aha!, I knew it, bad card!" and now proceed to treat this reality as negative.
You make it stable. Now you made it happen.
Or, screening, feminine side, is not passive.
It's a - trap. It's entrapment. Why - because they are trying to filter for one that would not just sneak in a bad card. Which is, wise.
Still, weaker,
Flip it to masculinity.
You're not just screening. You are creating.
You EXPECT ABSOLUTELTY NOTHING BUT THE GOOD CARDS. EVEN FROM PEOPLE WITH A MIXED MAZE OF CARDS.
You simply propose the game to them, first.
You treat them like they are honorable. You expect loyalty from them. You set the rule upfront.
Then, they will either follow you, or not.
They will accept the good game, or decide to break it, right there.
Which means you're being offensive in your screening.
Or.
I meet all types of people. I rarely if ever meet someone who's so corrupted they forgot they wanted to play clean.
I routinely offer thieves a free gift. Backstabbers a clean transaction. I look them in the eyes so it's clear, this is the game we're playing.
A lot of them fail. On first try.
I do not blame them. I just remove them from the game for the time being. They know what happened, and respect it. Because the withdrawal is clean.
Some of them see the opportunity to finally trust someone - find a space where they can "finally be themselves"
Because the thief is an adaptation. It's a form of playing. It's not, a being.
Very few people are actually totally lost to the other side.
So.
Again.
How to get the best out of people.
ACTIVELY DEMAND IT.
UPFRONT.
Then take nothing but the best of them.
n retweeted
How to get the best out of people.
You initiate, them.
How.
You must EXPECT, ANTICIPATE, DESIRE, HOPE, DIRECT, anything good that you want to get from others.
Their best behavior must initiate in you.
In that regard, otherwise, screening, is passive. It's, first I want to see what they will do, to then me accommodate to reality.
Which is perfectly sane, still, weak, or, weaker, compared to masculine function.
Or, it's feminine function, below frame, let reality reveal itself, to then you know.
Nothing wrong with it. In principle.
However, people are ambivalent.
When you wait to see which cards they show, you are not dictating the rules of the game, so they will show you a variety of cards to see which game you want to play.
Which means eventually they show you, bad cards.
And then you, in your very wise screening pose, say, "aha!, I knew it, bad card!" and now proceed to treat this reality as negative.
You make it stable. Now you made it happen.
Or, screening, feminine side, is not passive.
It's a - trap. It's entrapment. Why - because they are trying to filter for one that would not just sneak in a bad card. Which is, wise.
Still, weaker,
Flip it to masculinity.
You're not just screening. You are creating.
You EXPECT ABSOLUTELTY NOTHING BUT THE GOOD CARDS. EVEN FROM PEOPLE WITH A MIXED MAZE OF CARDS.
You simply propose the game to them, first.
You treat them like they are honorable. You expect loyalty from them. You set the rule upfront.
Then, they will either follow you, or not.
They will accept the good game, or decide to break it, right there.
Which means you're being offensive in your screening.
Or.
I meet all types of people. I rarely if ever meet someone who's so corrupted they forgot they wanted to play clean.
I routinely offer thieves a free gift. Backstabbers a clean transaction. I look them in the eyes so it's clear, this is the game we're playing.
A lot of them fail. On first try.
I do not blame them. I just remove them from the game for the time being. They know what happened, and respect it. Because the withdrawal is clean.
Some of them see the opportunity to finally trust someone - find a space where they can "finally be themselves"
Because the thief is an adaptation. It's a form of playing. It's not, a being.
Very few people are actually totally lost to the other side.
So.
Again.
How to get the best out of people.
ACTIVELY DEMAND IT.
UPFRONT.
Then take nothing but the best of them.
Seeking, in the context of my original post, is hoping to get loyalty out of people who haven’t shown it yet.
Screening is the opposite; they show it, or they don’t get in.
That’s what I meant by the trap, so it's not "don’t require loyalty," but "don’t outsource it to people who haven’t earned a place."
Great thread on interesting topic
But hidden gem regarding other topic
‘don’t get the practice they need to learn how to tussle with the chaotic feminine from their strong, calm, assertive masculine center’
Point of the whole thing
The relationship
Recently I have loved / appreciated my girl bc of this very thing
She is very good to practice w, in this sense
She is very submission / plays the feminine role well
But at times she test
I am grateful
I used to get annoyed by this, but now it makes me like her more
It is a fine line, if she was doing it too much / more sabotage-y I would not like it
And tell her to fuck off
But she doesn’t / it it isn’t
Good amount
So I appreciate her
Yes I love her too, as a human being, from above (which I am still learning hot to do)
But this aspect makes me love / appreciate her more
“imo you rewarded bad behavior”
That’s a common misunderstanding of how the masculine should handle the feminine
It’s a matter of knowing when and how to correct her behavior. You need to do it at the right time and with the correct amount of force, when your power is higher than hers, teaching her so she understands without overdoing it
(Overdoing it can kill the trust and vulnerability at all stages of a relationship, but especially at the beginning)
The idea of ‘don’t reward bad behavior’ is useful at time and very damaging other times, because it’s easy to mis-apply that concept, especially for young guys just starting out on their path to understanding women
‘Don’t reward bad behavior’ often leads to guys ejecting and avoiding women at the first sign of difficulty, at the first sign emotional chaos, at her first shit test. I’ve seen it. And so these young guys don’t get the practice they need to learn how to tussle with the chaotic feminine from their strong, calm, assertive masculine center
They just get butthurt and leave — which is the exact moment the feminine needs the masculine the most
Real
Yep
And not only that
She is like a mirror
U said it, it is a signal
When h get feedback like this, need to take a step back
Ok what does it mean
What does it really mean
I’m not gonna change my actions, just cuz she’s uncomfortable, or bc she wants to
But is there really something she is poking a hole in
And is it real
Is it something I have been avoiding
Why am I not doing that
Questions like that
They are the point of the relationship
Take the signal, take a step back, and reassess
Don’t change bc u want to please her, bc u are scared of what she thinks
But change bc u want to, bc u are doing something that u have been avoiding
It’s the point of the whole thing
The relationship
This
This is the point
Guy has corny ass example in the reply but the point stands
I used to think I would do what she does, because she does it that way, that’s the way she would like it in return
Example: she hits me with, I miss u, I wanna see u, one night while out
Next weekend, I hit her w the same thing. ‘I miss u’ ‘I wanna see I’
Terrible
She is girl
U are man
Dynamic is not the same
She does not want that
I don’t want to do that
So why am I doing it
I was below
Now it goes something like this
Her: ‘I want to see u’ ‘I miss I’
Me: ‘don’t worry’ ‘soon’
Completely different dynamic
Dynamic is not just about texting
But reframing the whole relationship
