Dr. Thomas Kauffman | Online Shoulder Rehab

The incel men in my comments want me to tell women what to do. So here we go: - stop listening to brain rot podcasts (like Call Her Daddy). No smart woman I know listens to this stuff. It’s entertainment at best but certainly not female empowerment. Think about the kind of life you want to build and the kind of woman you actually want to be. Not every conversation about sex, relationships, dating etc is “wisdom.” Some things are sacred. - do not confuse independence with not needing anyone. You can be independent and still lean on others. You can be independent and still want a husband and a family. You need to allow men the opportunity to be men. Men like to feel needed. Men like to feel like they’re providing value to you. Let them. - men are in fact not the enemy. Stop treating them as such. You can acknowledge the very real problems women face. But that does not mean men, as a whole, are the problem. Contempt and bitterness will not build better relationships (with anyone). - have standards but make sure you meet them yourself. Would you date you? If you want someone disciplined loyal emotionally mature financially stable funny kind smart etc then you better be able to tit for tat. You can’t expect the world and give nothing in return. If you’re not the woman you want to be yet, focus your attention on becoming her. - you must learn the difference between a good man and an exciting man. Inconsistent / emotionally unavailable/ hot and cold is not “chemistry.” Red flags. Move on. Or continue to get led on and quit complaining about them idk what to tell you. If you’re confused, they don’t like you. If they like you, you will know. This goes for guys as well. - you can be warm, receptive, nurturing and kind and still be intelligent and ambitious. You’re multifaceted. Your softness is not a weakness. It makes you feminine. Embrace that side of you. The world needs it. - do not punish good men for what bad men have done. Be discerning but you cannot begin a new relationship with suspicions, tests, or expectation of disappointment. (If you expect it, you’ll get it.) It’s not fair to the new guy or to you. - learn how to communicate without testing manipulating or keeping score. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Men are not mind readers. They’re actually especially bad at it. - a relationship is not a competition. Stop keeping score. You’re not trying to “win” you’re trying to build something together. - take accountability for your patterns. If you keep having the same arguments or making the mistakes or going for the same kind of guy and getting your heartbroken, at a certain point you’ve got to acknowledge it might be a you problem. Work on that part of you that needs addressing. - be the kind of woman a good man would want to build a life with. What does that mean? It’s about accountability, reciprocity, and character. Are you loyal? Are you dependable? Can you love well? Can you compromise? Do you make someone else’s life better by being in it? Do you bring peace.