Kels ☘️

There are many lessons to be learned from the Russell Brand conviction, but surely one of them has to be that women should be very wary about putting themselves in vulnerable positions with men they don’t know. As we’ve seen from other trials, the risk isn’t negligible even with men women know well, including their husbands. I’m not victim-blaming here. Brand is solely responsible for his criminal behaviour. But there is an important distinction between blaming someone for what happens to them and encouraging people to recognise potential dangers. The problem with celebrity is that it can create a false sense of familiarity. You might have watched someone on television for years, followed their every move on social media and feel as though you know them intimately. But you know only the persona they’ve chosen to present to the world. You know virtually nothing about their private character, their motives or how they might behave when nobody else is watching. I also don’t understand why charming and charismatic men don’t sometimes raise red flags for women more generally. That might sound like a perverse thing to say. But if a man is particularly adept at turning on the charm, especially when his motives are obvious, that ought to be a warning sign rather than necessarily something attractive. There are plenty of good, decent, respectful men who are pretty awkward around women they’re attracted to, precisely because they respect them and don’t want to say or do the wrong thing. Conversely, men who are supremely confident, entirely at ease making prolonged eye contact and have perfected the art of flirting don’t necessarily make the best lovers or life partners. Charm is not the same thing as character. Again, I’m not victim-blaming. But anyone with daughters should be telling them that they might love a celebrity’s public persona, think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread and fantasise about meeting them. But if they ever do meet one of their idols, they should treat them exactly as they would any other human being. Fame is not a character reference. And they shouldn’t place their trust in someone until they genuinely know them. And if someone they’ve only just met is trying to rush them into sexual activity, they shouldn’t mistake that for flattery or affection. It’s far more likely to be motivated by that person’s own single-minded and selfish desires. None of this excuses the behaviour of predatory men. The responsibility for sexual assault lies entirely with the perpetrator. But teaching young women to recognise danger, to be sceptical of charm and to understand that celebrity is no guarantee of decency seems to me an entirely sensible lesson to draw from this dreadful case.

Will pay cash money for someone to shave my legs, wash my hair and apply my tan 😭

I’m going to my favourite pizza place soon 😍🤤

Ireland, I’m in you 💚