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Oliver Long

@DefinitelyLong

Comedy couple with @irish_303 Comedy writer, ribbon husband, Ordained minister, BJJ Black Belt, father of two. My favorite fruit is low hanging...

 Texas
Joined September 2018
  • Tweets262
  • Following327
  • Followers48
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Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)Photo by Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)
Well America,bold decision today by a country that struggles to pull out of anything...
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I feel like putting an elipses in a menopause joke is just wrong... #comedywriting
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I need more dads who want to do things with little kids...um, let me rephrase that. I need more dads with little kids who want to do things...that's better. #phrasing
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Fuck the Phillys, we like Swishas here in Houston!
I want to open a food truck called "Eat A Little Ass" and serve the best burritos around... #Entrepreneurship #letsstartabusiness #soundsyummy #HablaEspañol
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A bestie @Irish_303 doesn't want to be boosted bc he is shy. Unfortunately for him, I am also an empathetic annoying Aries who doesn't follow directions. I had 200 followers once. Didn't we all? Calling on my big account followers to remember and RT! You were there! Do it!
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Oliver Long retweeted
z (@zachreinert0) profile picture
z@zachreinert028 Oct 2022
Alcoholism is no joke. Unless you walk into the bar with a priest, a rabbi, or possibly a horse
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One thing I've gathered from listening to Dexys Midnight Runners is that you tend to have to be assertive with girls named Eileen... #satiricallyofcourse
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Got a craving for a Choco Taco? Find yourself a girl who wipes back-to-front. #followmeformorelifehacks
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I bet if we classified abortion as a war America wouldn't be all Gung ho about pulling out...
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Hey, America, FUCK YOU...but not too hard, lord knows we would hate for you to get pregnant. You can barely take care of your current kids.
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RT this for absolutely no good reason at all.
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My 8yo son: "Hey Dad, turn on the radio" Me: "Sure bud, let's see what's on..." 😳
Image from Oliver Long (@DefinitelyLong)
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Will over here treating Jada like Fight Club...dont talk about her, just do her.
This here's a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside and I'd like to rake a minute so sit right there and I'll tell you how I smacked Chris for talking about Jadas hair...
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I just realized my typo in this. Just delete me and throw me in the trash. I'm sorry everyone
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I'm pretty sure August hit Jada harder than Will hit Chris...
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Will Smith out here showing Chris Rock how to live that Fresh Prints life. #Oscars2022
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Oscar's 2022: Stars hit the red carpet..and some hit Chris Rock.
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With all the craziness going on, I'm here to give a little bit of props to Will Smith. It's good to see a man set boundaries. For Will, keep his wifes name out your mouth...but throw your dick in the mix and it's fair game. #knowyourworth #boundaries
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