Founder of @TheBabylonBee, co-founder of @Not_the_Bee
Michigan
Joined April 2009
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Pinned Tweet
After 9 years, I'm finally ready to confess the real reason why I started The Babylon Bee.
The truth is that I was offered $100M by the Mossad to found a conservative Christian satire site.
I told them no, firmly, because I knew they did 9/11.
But then they increased their offer to $500M, and, to my shame, I could not resist.
So I took the money, bought a $9 domain and a $60 WordPress theme, and I did it.
I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I pray that some of you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Adam Ford retweeted
Makes speeches for 500k a pop. Hasn’t eaten dinner that costs less than $250 in years. Has never been in a Cheesecake Factory. Undefeated at condescending to regular folks. Will always be known for a presidency that ushered in the Trump era to begin with.
Adam Ford retweeted
Every time I see this stuff I think about how easily a couple guys with AR-15's could straighten this out.
Adam Ford retweeted
You have no choice but to save the United States. There is literally nowhere left to go. This is it. The last bastion. The Alamo. Last stop Saloon. If the US completely falls, it's checkmate Earth. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, you can't opt out. There is no Shire.
Adam Ford retweeted
Kelly Clarkson is currently trying to break down the door where our merch is stored. We told her it's only for sale online, but she won't take no for answer. Here's the link, Kelly. Please go away!
shop.babylonbee.com/
🤖 Made with AI
Adam Ford retweeted
The other jurors have spent all week calling the lone male holdout an arrogant, uncooperative dummy who didn’t understand the law or follow the rules. Now we come to find out that they were talking about the only black guy in the room this whole time. Leftists have accidentally sided with 11 white bullies against a black man who stood up to them. Just an absolutely amazing twist. You couldn’t script it any better.
Adam Ford retweeted
I have stock in SpaceX and Tesla, not some big pile of cash.
As my companies do more and more useful things, their value increases proportionate to their projected usefulness. All shareholders benefit along the way, including most retirement programs.
Adam Ford retweeted
On August 27, ICE arrested Milo Yiannopoulos, an illegal alien from the United Kingdom, at the Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport (MSY) in Kenner, Louisiana. Yiannopoulos legally entered the country on May 14, 2019, through New York City, New York. He chose to overstay his welcome in violation of our nation’s laws.
Yiannopoulos was issued a final order of removal by an Immigration Judge on July 22, after failing to show up for his immigration hearing. He will remain in ICE custody pending removal.
Being in detention is a choice. We encourage all illegal aliens to take control of their departure with the CBP Home App. The United States is offering illegal aliens $3,000 and a free flight to self-deport now. We encourage every person here illegally to take advantage of this offer and reserve the chance to come back to the U.S. the right legal way to live the American dream. If not, you will be arrested and deported without a chance to return.
🚨 EXCLUSIVE: Kanye exec Milo Yiannopoulos detained by ICE in Louisiana.
Details: tmz.com/2026/08/28/milo-yian…
Adam Ford retweeted
Elon employs ~160,000 Americans and in one morning created thousands of millionaires…
You have done nothing for America.
Let me translate for those of you who didn't live through the Obama years and don't understand Obamaspeak:
"I am happy this happened and I hope the next one of my disciples who tries to assassinate Trump is successful."
Although we don’t yet have the details about the motives behind last night's shooting at the White House Correspondents Dinner, it’s incumbent upon all us to reject the idea that violence has any place in our democracy. It’s also a sobering reminder of the courage and sacrifice that U.S. Secret Service Agents show every day. I’m grateful to them – and thankful that the agent who was shot is going to be okay.
