Cooter (@Pat00ter) header
Cooter (@Pat00ter) profile picture
Joined March 2026
Photo by Cooter (@Pat00ter)Photo by Cooter (@Pat00ter)Photo by Cooter (@Pat00ter)Photo by Cooter (@Pat00ter)Photo by Cooter (@Pat00ter)Photo by Cooter (@Pat00ter)Photo by Cooter (@Pat00ter)Photo by Cooter (@Pat00ter)Photo by Cooter (@Pat00ter)
I discovered a secret TV channel just for racist aunts and uncles
1
204
I’m fucking hammered at the Cheesecake Factory
27
16
853
17,197
U CANT EVEN SCROLL DOWN TWITTER AT THE GAME ‼️💯🔥PUSSY EVERYWHERE
1,100
5,201
1,218
38,632
2,259,483
I’m sorry by who?
108
(Guy whose job is to tell people they’re whiny and entitled) can someone buy my wife a ticket to the big game 🥺
When I was a kid, my best friend and I sat through a 12-1 Brewers loss and made a pact: if the Brewers ever made the World Series in our lifetime, we were going. No matter what. When I was 16, I started dating a Brewers fan every bit as big as I am! This picture is from one of our first dates. Last year, we got married. I love that I’m living up to a lifelong pact with my best friend, but I want to share this once-in-a-lifetime moment with my wife too. So I’m looking for one ticket. Just one ticket for Game 1 so she can come with us. Any good conservative folks on X with a connection who could help at a reasonable price (around $1k)? At this rate I’d rather not take out a second mortgage to go to a baseball game.
148
“So you spent $6 billion dollars on a baseball team?” “Yes, Dave.” “And you lost to the Brewers in the playoffs?” “That’s correct, Dave.”
39
865
25
16,907
424,329
calling into work bald
30
1,168
137
13,456
383,271
Yeah and if my aunt had a pair of testicles she’d be a bicycle
1
137
Black girl named Felloneé
2
136
How do you record, edit, and post this video without ever thinking “maybe I should get my giant novelty hundred dollar bill wall decoration out of the shot”
Brixton Albert, the CEO of Performance Golf - brand behind @GrantHorvatGolf’s Lil Legends clubs - responded to the criticism of the $200 price point. This is how you address criticism - w/honesty & transparency. Golf’s biggest challenge is the flood of hate/snark that comes with new things. No one has seen that more clearly than me the last 4 years. The only way to overcome that is to take criticism head on - you can’t hide from it. 💯
197
The warden said they’re gonna superglue the soap to my hand if I keep this up
83
Hey everyone check out Paige's visor!
31
4
2
1,635
260,393
[desperate for pussy voice] “Man everyone’s being pretty harsh on this Lindsay Clancy woman huh?”
79
691
22
21,700
294,639
👑👑👑
Holy shit. "Quite frankly sir, I don't think we can make America great again without hanging your CEO publicly for treason."
2
72
20,394
Absolute travesty this isn’t streamable
Replying to @BrentleyGC
Ryder Cowan throws a dart in and then Jack Whaley lips out the near ace! ELECTRIC!
3
3
405
29,413
My uncle performed the first Minion autopsy out near Marietta. Year was ‘89. Thick, thick skin, like a boar’s. Downstairs was all cloaca. Kevin still visits the grave
160
6,608
148
78,751
3,792,728
First time under par on 9 #notkillingmyself #yet
2
1
214
@NellyKorda is 6000 yards enough or no
1
2
90
6000 yards definitely isn’t small it’s probably above average right
1
21