Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning) header
Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning) profile picture

Pasta Fazool

@chrisdowning

my tweets: https://nitter.gq/t.co/99Q1ViKGia

Joined March 2009
  • Tweets68.1K
  • Following4.1K
  • Followers9.5K
91Media
Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)Photo by Pasta Fazool (@chrisdowning)
I once knew a guy named Dave who disappeared for a while and when I next saw him he was wearing leather and hanging with a biker chick. He asked me to call him Chopper. I sometimes wonder what happened to Dave/Chopper.
2
16
1
42
1,084
[whispers to the record store clerk] Did Peter Gabriel write any other songs about hammers?
47
68
1,481
An "oblast" is my favorite Russian/Eastern European administrative geographical division that sounds like it could be a slang term for an orgasm resulting from fingerblasting.
2
20
44
990
No work on Mondays, eatin Ramen noodles for every meal, hangin with the boys all day long. Prison actually sounds pretty cool to me.
15
13
1
107
2,344
Pasta Fazool retweeted
Pan (@pangrey123) profile picture
Pan@pangrey123Oct 13
being a baby must be terrifying. Imagine going to sleep in your house & you wake up at Walmart
4
349
8
6,429
43,609
Pasta Fazool retweeted
Jen (@SleepEatScream) profile picture
Jen@SleepEatScreamOct 11
The ones who check in on you to make sure you’re okay are my kind of people.
12
117
227
5,661
Pasta Fazool retweeted
jess (@enchantedjess13) profile picture
jess@enchantedjess13Oct 12
wasn’t gonna drink tonight but i’m missing joann fabrics like crazy
65
5,976
136
39,403
444,133
I wear one of those police spit masks so I'm not tempted to eat fake display fruit
3
80
121
6,243
Birdwatching is the one hobby you can do accidentally. I see those little fuckers everywhere.
20
346
12
7,346
78,592
Don't run with scissors -- unless you're stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind, sneaky scissor thief.
12
763
2
1,019
Pasta Fazool retweeted
Her Tall Boots (@fuzzlime) profile picture
Her Tall Boots
@fuzzlime30 Dec 2016
wish my phone made that soft click sound when I hang up like Andy Griffith's does
2
27
53
Pasta Fazool retweeted
tia ★ (@tiadeeznuts) profile picture
tia ★@tiadeeznutsOct 11
apple pay should cancel the transaction if i look sad during the face ID part
199
25,309
410
337,691
5,054,531
Pasta Fazool retweeted
Skurt Vonnegut (@ThisLocalHater) profile picture
Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHaterOct 9
The neighborhood teens are calling me unc just because I'm using leeches to treat my syphilis
6
88
656
13,228
Why do I say “no” to necklaces? Oh, I dunno, maybe it's because I’m not gonna do fully 50% of a strangler’s job for him.
17
294
3
792
The guy from the Flex Seal commercials stole my screen door.
11
21
624
Pasta Fazool retweeted
Damon Hunzeker (@DamonHunzeker) profile picture
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzekerOct 10
We’re only selling the hangers — the clothes are there to show you how they work.
1
35
1
59
1,638
"May I take your coat please?" - polite coat thief
6
31
185
2,777
I found a second way to do my hair!! This might be happiness, but I don't have a prior reference.
2
41
101
1,904
Pasta Fazool retweeted
Damon Hunzeker (@DamonHunzeker) profile picture
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzekerOct 1
Establish dominance at your first rodeo by double-knotting the laces on your cowboy shoes.
1
17
30
769
The best thing about sleep is it’s a time machine to breakfast – at Baxley, GA
9
177
4
1,693
44,884
Load more